Sauvage | Jeon Jungkook

Forty-Three

Today is officially the warmest day of the year and although I'm the kind of person who prefers warm weather over rainy and gray days, even though they don't often happen here, I have to admit that this weather makes it hard to breathe even for me.

It feels muggy and humid, making the summer dress stick to my skin. It's white and reflects the sun like I'm worth a squint of the eyes if you were to look at me. It's casual, but not too casual that you'd title it inappropriate for a workplace, but it's not fancy either.

The sun blasts on my head as I cross the street to the fifty-story building, leaving me feeling like my brain is about to turn into a puddle of nasty slime.

It's definitely weather meant for the beach and four scoops of ice cream that would probably melt faster than you can lick it, but it would be worth it. Sure it's easy to dream about but reality is beckoning me with a megaphone to get in front of my computer.

I also want to see the snow because the last time I experienced the white blanket I was still a kid. My parents and I would go up to the mountains a little over two hours drive from here and we would stay there for a whole weekend.

We never did that again and I don't even remember what the cold flakes felt like in the palm of my hand. It's something that has stayed in our minds as a memory of the past ever since the accident happened.

My father never drove a car after that, having developed a phobia of it. It's not something he can control and my mother obviously can't drive either. They take a cab or public transportation to places they need to go and they don't have a problem with it because the transportation here is pretty good.

I understand and respect that, although I have only suggested once so far that we could get a safe car. Dad won't let himself do that, thinking he may become the cause of a disaster again.

It wasn't his fault, the accident I mean and it's been almost two decades but the scars remain deep within them. Inside of me too and it hurts me to see how much of an impact the aftermath has had on their lives. My father does not forgive himself for what are actually the consequences of someone else's disregard for the traffic rules.

I don't even know why it makes me think of all of this all of a sudden and why I have the sudden urge to cry, but it is what it is. The memories are a constant nightmare in my head and they pop up at moments when they don't even have the right to.

I quickly erase these thoughts, making my way further to the company. When I set foot on the expensive and dark marble, the coolness of the air conditioning hits me and I feel like I can breathe properly for the first time in a long time.

Sweat drips down between my breasts and I cringe at the feeling as I stand in the elevator with three other people. I wonder how Jungkook must feel when I already consider the weather almost unbearable. I know he hates the heat because he starts sweating fast and a lot.

Just like when he does other things.

My cheeks run red as all the images of sweaty Jungkook pop into my head, finding it embarrassing that I can think so inappropriately when other people are in my presence. What if they can read minds?

Free show, I guess.

Stop.

What I forgot to mention is that I started my period this morning. That's probably why I feel ten degrees warmer and a weird tingling in my stomach that is definitely not my cramps.