abc love imagines | multifandom

O • Charlie x Nick

Optimistic
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Because he's hopeful about the future and you
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i realized that the main heartstopper couple do not have a ship name. i checked twitter to confirm.
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Warning(s): mature language, suicide mentions and anxiety thoughts. not an xreader (obviously)
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He was scared.

He didn't know what would happen between them.

Their lives were so random and spontaneous, especially after his sister's school burning down. There was only months before they were going to be separated. For a long time. He hated growing up. Growing up got him bullied, experience feelings like suicide and OCD that he would never experience if he was still small. Or never knew he had. He liked being naïve.

You don't have the capacity to feel that much as a child. You're naïve to almost everything and your world view is through rainbow coloured glasses. Liking boys as a boy didn't seem weird to you because no one talked about crushes, so the norm wasn't familiar. Your parents cared more about you. School didn't have difficult math problems nor bullies.

Life was easier to breathe in. It wasn't polluted with all of these problems. Your lungs would be able to fill to full capacity without the fear of it being tainted.

Now, short quick breathes were the only ones he was familiar with. Sometimes the polluted air was too much for him and it felt like he couldn't breathe. That worried him because if he couldn't breathe that means he would die. He wasn't ready to die. He couldn't. He had his family, his friends, his boyfriend behind him. There was too much he didn't accomplish.

Why couldn't the air just fill his lungs?

Why did he have to go so quickly?

But then everything got relieved. Comfort weighted on his shoulders when he felt arms around him. A warm embrace that could never be mistaken. It was his filter. Anything bad couldn't get through the protection he was under. It was his shield. The very thig that helped him continue on his quest after being sidetracked.

It was Nick.

Nick was his shield.

The filter of all of bad. He was the personification of what a tree would do with carbon dioxide; turn it into oxygen, letting people all around to be able to breathe. With all of the negative energy and thoughts in the world, he would filter it all and make it okay for Charlie to breathe into it. It was a gift that he had no idea that he possessed but Spring would forever have gratitude for what the universe brought for him.

For him.

All for him.

But the fear wasn't what was happening now...it was what the future had in store for them. That was what made Charlie a bit on the ropes. He liked certainty, he liked control. The future was nothing of that and that terrified him to the bone.
Where would Nick go? Where would he go?
It was a constant battle of saying everything was gonna work out and saying this would never work. Nick was his first.

First boyfriend, first kiss, first time.

He was so lucky to have him, and to not anymore in a few months made him unsure if this was for the rest of his life. If his relationship would last through the possibility of long distance and being together for that long.

He felt himself being picked up by said arms and dropped off on his bed. His head rested on his chest as a makeshift pillow and felt himself being pressed into Nick.

"You alright?" Nick asked, curious and worried. Tori barely said anything and just pointed towards her brother's room, knowing that Nick was the person he needed. It wasn't like Tori and Charlie were getting any closer after him being sent away.

"What's going to happen to us?"

"What do you mean?"

Charlie inhaled sharply, wording his sentence and the rewording it. Trying to see what would fit. It sounded bad to him anyways. The point still sounded bad.

"You...you are going to go away for uni," Charlie said in a slow tone, avoiding eye contact at all costs. The blond eye's widen in surprise that this was bothering him. Nick is happy to be able to move on from high school and is very excited to try something new. He wasn't aware that it was hurting his boyfriend all this time.

"I might go to Kent, it's-" Kent was the school in their area. So they would still be close.

The sheets rustled in movement as the blue eyed teen sat up quickly, his face twisted in concern. "No! You should go somewhere you want to, not for me. I love you...but I want you to be selfish for this once." Nick's brows furrowed, trying to read him but it was hard. The sheets moved once more when Nick sat up. He took Charlie's hand into his, squeezing it for comfort.

"Hey. I don't wanna be far from you...but I will promise to be selfish, if you promise one thing for me."

"What?"A tear fell down his cheek.

"Promise me you will be a bit more optimistic about us. I will not give up on you."

"Me neither."