Living With The Game (Living Series #2)

Chapter 38

"J-Just please, let me explain." Usal nito habang nakayuko sa dalawa kong kamay na ngayon ay hawak niya.

I was just looking at him. Ni-hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong maramdaman. He want me to stay here, and so I did. 

"Explain for what? For cutting ties with me? For not even visiting me to fix things? William, tangina... asang-asa ako na nagpapahinga lang tayo, you kissed another woman. Alam mo kung sino 'yung babae na 'yon? Si Loraine, 'yung babaeng hirap na hirap akong pagkatiwalaan, 'yung babaeng kahit minsan hindi ako naging kumportable kasi alam ko... a-alam kong may hindi tama sa pakikitungo niya sa 'yo. William, you didn't even consider my emotions, you didn't even consider how I feel back then. Sobrang hirap. I just need some space, a rest kasi hindi ko matanggap na nagawa mo 'yon. And you know what's even worst?" 

Marahan itong nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. Now I could see clear into his eyes, the regret and full of apologies. 

"Days after, I saw you being with her and abandoned me. Ilang beses akong nag-text or even tumawag sa 'yo. I was waiting for you to contact me, to reach me out. Pero wala... wala kahit anino mo. Noong oras na nawala sila Papa," with that hindi ko na napigilan pa ang pagbuhos ng aking luha. Agad kong binawi ang kamay ko mula sa kaniya 'tsaka ito ipuninas sa sarili kong luha

"William wala ka. I was suffering emotionally and mentally because of our relationship and then nabalitaan ko nalang wala na pala akong mga magulang... Can you imagine that?"

"L-Listen, Joanna. Please, listen to me. When the time I texted you dahil gusto kitang makita, I-I was there waiting for you. I was there for hours, Joanna. I didn't received any text from you anymore matapos no'n. That's why I suspected that... you don't love me anymore, that you don't want to see me anymore." He explained before standing and tried to reach for my hand again.

"William, I told I've been contacting you. I texted you that day, I told you next time nalang tayo magkita, dahil pa ako handa. Tapos nakita ko nalang kasama mo na 'yung Loraine na 'yon. That's why I came up on this freaking idea that you just proved me right, na tama ang hinala ko sa inyong dalawa ni Loraine." I said straight to his eyes before turning back and started to walk away. 

"Loraine confessed everything what she did, Joanna. Loraine told me what she did before." He then said, dahilan para mapahinto ako. I swallowed hard before clenching my fist.

"That day, when I was about to meet you. She told me you were with Lance, both of you are happy together. The text you were talking about was deleted by her... I-I don't know how but probably when we are in the meeting with the Alienation Ph back then. Whenever you are calling, I might probably busy, but there was a time that Loraine saw you calling at pinatay niya 'yon... She blocked you on messenger before deleting our conversation on my phone. I suffered too, Joanna... emotionally and mentally thinking that you're with Lance already. Noong araw na malaman kong wala na ang parents mo? Joanna, I was there. But I saw being with other man's arms. That I'd realized, those darkest times, I wasn't with you. I wasn't able to comfort you. I'm... I'm sorry." He said, I could hear his voice being so croaky and now hearing him sobbing hurts me. 

Agad akong napahawak sa sofa nito at hindi na napigilan pang umiyak. This is not easy. I immidiately tried my best to walk away until I reach my unit. As I closed the door, agad akong napasalampak sa sahig at sumandal sa pinto. Napayakap ako sa hita ko 'tsaka humagulgol ng iyak.

This is not easy. I was questioning myself all that happened to us, to our relationship. The mistake he did one from another. We are so stupid to be played by that girl Loraine. We both are stupid to be fooled by her. He even suspected me to be with Lance? Gano'n na ba ako kababaw to replace and unloved him? 

We both wait for nothing during those times that we were struggling. 

I just found myself lying on the floor and my head is kinda hurt. I look at the clock and it's already 7 AM. I massage my temple before I decided to take a bath. Hindi na ako kumain pa at agad na pumasok sa trabaho. Halos patakbo na ako maglakad at tamang tango nalang ako sa kada tao na nasasalubong ko. Luckily wala masyadong tao kaya agad akong nakapasok sa elevator. 

Hingal akong huminto sa tapat ng conference room, dahil I almost forgot na may meeting nga pala ngayon. I sighed heavily before pushing the door and entered. As I expected, all of them are here and all of them are staring at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm late. Shall we start?" I stated at tumango naman sila. Nag-lakad na ako patungo sa usually seat ko, I can't help myself but to check if William is here at ayun nga nagtama ang paningin naming dalawa. Umiwas ako ng tingin at nagfocus nalang sa nagsasalita which is si Direct Bem who's explaining the shoot that happened for 2 weeks. Ipinakita nito lahat ng photos during the shoot and even the advertisement of each team. Nilibot ko ng tingin ang table to check if the teams are complete. And then I glance at Mateo nang mapansing nakatingin ito sa akin. Naiilang ko itong tinanguan before I gestured my hand in front for him to listen to the speaker. 

Natapos ang meeting at agad na rin akong pumunta sa office, I told May to bring me some iced coffee dahil bukod sa wala akong almusal, ramdam ko pa rin ang hangover ko. I immediately stopped from typing on my laptop when I remembered what happened last night. Napasandal ako sa aking upuan 'tsaka tumingala out of frustration. I heavily sighed before massaging my temple.

"Ayos lang kayo, Ma'am?" 

I heard May entered the office.

"Not really." Usal ko nang hindi ito tinitignan.

"Here's you iced coffee, Ma'am." She then put the iced coffee in front of me and I thanked her before she leave.

Agad kong kinuha ang iced coffee at diretso itong sinipsip. 

All these years, we've been apart for being so fool. We've been played by someone else. Pareho kaming may kasalanan, pareho kaming naging pabaya. We failed as a couple, we failed to face challenges and we failed to trust each other.