Living With The Game (Living Series #2)

Chapter 45

Ilang araw at linggo na ang nakalipas. Heto ako at walang tigil sa pagpapapansin at sunod kay Joanna. Walang tigil sa pagbibigay ng motibo na gusto ko siya. 

Hindi ba ako nanliligaw sa lagay na 'to? 

At ngayon I don't know why but I'm not even in the mood to make fun with but then Joanna keep teasing because I'm not eating balut and I'm having a hard time picking some fishballs using a stick. Hanggang sa aksidente akong napaso sa plastic cup na may lamang bagong luto na fishball dahil sa sapilitang pag-abot niya sa akin n'yon.

I sighed in frustration before walking out. I'm not really in the mood, I don't know why. Nakasunod lang si Joanna pero sabi ko ay may daraanan lang ako. Actually gusto ko lang maglakad-lakad muna para mawala ang init ng ulo ko. I really don't want giving Joanna a cold treatment, I need to cool down. 

Nang may madaanan akong tindahan ay bumili ako ng yosi 'tsaka inubos 'yon. I was just chilling when I suddenly realized that she's not familiar with place where I left her. I immediately threw the cigarette in the trash can at patakbong bumalik sa lugar kung saan ko ito iniwan. But she isn't here, gusto ko mang isipin na nakauwi na ito pero hindi ako mapanatag. I walk a little bit when I saw a group of guys in the waiting shed, hindi na ako nagdalawang isip pa at agad lumapit doon.

Fvck.

"Hoy! Anong ginagawa niyo?!" 

Agad namuo ang galit sa sistema ko nang makita ko si Joanna na nakasalampak sa sahig habang binabastos ng mga lalaking 'to. I grabbed the person who's currently touching her and punch him in the face. 

I heard them being alarmed because they know me, inalalayan agad ng isa 'yung lalaking sinuntok ko at dali-daling umalis. Hindi ko na sila pinanood pa at agad lumapit kay Joanna but then she push me away and told me to leave her alone thinking I was one of those guys. Parang may kumurot sa puso ko nang makita kung gaano ito balutin ng takot. I immidiately hug her and told her everything's fine now. Mas lalo akong nasaktan ng marinig ang malakas nitong pag-iyak habang binabanggit kung anong ginawa ng mga lalaking 'yon sa kaniya and I can't do anything but to blame myself and apologize for leaving her behind. 

It hurts seeing her cry, it fvcking hurts seeing her eyes like that. 

"Saan naman tayo pupunta?" She asked and I just told her na pupunta kami kung saan may sariwang hangin. 

I played songs and make her smile for her to forget what happened. I don't want her to feel unsafe and lonely. Alam ko kung anong trauma at hirap nito tuwing gabi just to forget what happened. If only I could stay with her every night and hug her, I just can't. Gusto ko siyang bantayan gabi-gabi dahil alam kong hirap itong makatulog sa gabi dahil hindi niya malimutan ang nangyaring 'yon sa kaniya.

"Stay." Usal ko 'tsaka siya hinapit palapit lalo sa akin to hug her so tight.

I want her to refresh her mind from what happened. I want her to feel that she's safe, that I'm always here to protect her. I want to protect her no matter what, I want her to stay with me and to hold her so tight. 

It feels good hugging her in a place like this. Lugar kung saan kami lang talaga. 

Mula ng mas lumalim ang pagtingin ko kay Joanna para na akong ewan. I'm being so childish or even being so jealous when she's talking to someone, specifically to that guy Lance. Nasasaktan ako, naiinis at nagseselos... all in one frame. She even ask me kung ano ba niya ako. That hit me so hard, bruh. Totoo naman ano niya nga ba ako? Seriously, eversince she said that it freaking hurts. Truth hurts nga naman. But then, wala naman siyang kasalanan. Pero hindi ko lang maiwasang magtampo o mainis. Tangina nakakabading naman ma-inlove. Lalo na at nakita ko silang magkasama at parang ihahatid pa siya nito. Wala akong tiwala sa lalaki na 'yon, I'm just concern... and yes I'm jealous. She pointed out the girl I was with earlier in the coffee shop, well that just my blockmate and groupmate at the same time. But then pareho lang mainit ang ulo namin pero mas pinili ko pa ring ihatid ito pauwi sa kanila. Selfish na kung selfish pero ako lang dapat maghahatid at sundo sa kaniya. 

As I saw her again being with Lance here in the club, agad na namang nag-init ang ulo ko. We're in the same table pero hindi pa rin gaanong nagpapansinan kahit pa galing ako sa kanila. The girl beside me keeps on talking nonsense, I just pretend I was listening but honestly pasimple kong tinitignan si Joanna at Lance sa harap ko na nag-uusap. Hanggang sa umalis si Joanna na may dalang bote ng alak at pumunta sa may railings to watch the crowd. Nang umalis din ang babaeng katabi ko ay lumapit ako kay Lance at sinalubong ito nang akmang susundan nito si Joanna.

"She's mine. I got her first, she's mine." Mariing usal ko habang diretso pa ring nakatingin sa mga mata niya. Pero hindi ito nagpatinag at nilabanan ang mga tingin ko. She smirked before heading to Joanna. 

I swallowed hard out of anger. Umupo ako kung saan galing si Lance at sakto namang nakita ko itong hinalikan si Joanna sa bandang balikat. Agad kong kinuha ang shot glass na may lamang alak 'tsaka ito diretsong ininom. I wanted to approach him and push him away but I don't want to because Joanna will be mad at me again. 

Bakit ba kasi hirap na hirap akong umamin. 

She was about to go home alone earlier after our night out but I won't let that happened at sinabing ako ang mag-uuwi sa kaniya, dahil responsibilidad ko 'yon. Well, that's voluntarily. Sa sobrang bad trip ko ay hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong sabihan si Joanna tungkol sa kung paano siya hinalikan kanina ni Lance. Daig pa namin ang magkasintahan kung magsagutan dito sa loob ng sasakyan.

"Yosi lang ako." Usal ko as I stopped the car and went outside.

I need to smoke, sobrang naiinis ako at hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. 

"I need something on my mouth, Joanna." Usal ko dahil kailangan mo ng yosi ngayon.

"Go and smoke then." She commanded. She knew I won't do it because she's in front of me. 

"On my lips." I stated as I saw her lips.

"P-Put your cigarette on it." Biglang aniya na para bang biglang nailang.

"How about yours?" Wala sa sariling usal ko 'tsaka muling napatingin sa labi niya bago tumingin sa mga mata niya. 

I didn't stop myself and just cupped her face before kissing her, she held my arms and felt her kisses. She kissed me back that made my heartbeat race again in happiness. Removing my anger away. I held her waist to pull her closer and she wrapped her arms around my neck and responded to my kisses. 

"You kissed me back, didn't you?" I asked the obvious but I wanted to hear it from her. She just asked me why did I do that. She keeps on denying it or even wanted to change the atmosphere by saying we should go home. 

But then, I don't wanna waste the time. I kiss her again and for the second time, she kissed me back. I told her to ask me why did I do that and thankfully she did.

"Because I like you, Joanna." 

Finally... Finally I said it. 

Sinabi ko 'yon nang paulit-ulit habang hinahawi ang buhok niya at hinalikan ang noo niya. And I won't get tired of doing that.  

"William." 

She stated when I was about to open the door after we discuss everything about my feelings. 

But then as I look at her she smile and immediately cupped my face and kissed me. She did the same as what I did to her earlier. She repeatedly said she likes me while combing my hair using her hand, tapping the tip of my nose and touching my lips before looking straight to my eyes. 

She then hug me in the waist and hug her back, tighter and warmer before I plant a kiss on her forehead. I'm so in love right now, with this girl. It feels so warm being in her arms.