where I should've been (EDITING)

chapter 15

Vanessa' pov:

            I have been here for a month now and I must say this is the happiest I have been in so long.

    I feel so free, I totally forgot how freedom felt like before. It didn't feel like I was walking on eggshells anymore.

    I am no longer scared to go to bed or scared of waking up. I don't have to watch over my shoulders in fear of receiving an unexpected hit.

     Petra has been taking very good care of me and Dami. She even enrolled Dami in this rich ass school. I told her that it was too much, but she wouldn't listen. She said the money was nothing to her and her mother insist that her grand-daughter goes to the best school in town.

       I told her I want to look for a job but she refused, saying that she'll provide everything I need and more.

    I know she can provide all I need but I still feel like I'm imposing. I feel like I'm a burden to her.
She saw the way I was sad when she said no to me finding a job. She then promised that I could look for a job as soon as Maurice gets caught.

    Maurice is still out there somewhere. Her men can't seem to find his dumb ass. I guess when you're being hunted down, You automatically become smart.

   Speaking of men....I've asked her what she does and why she has so many men.but she always waves me off, saying it's a story for another time.
 
    I think she has a dangerous job cos the amount of security in this place is maddd. She even has men watching Dami in school,just incase Maurice decided to show up.

    Even I,have to take at least one body guard before i leave the house. Not that I go to alot of places anyways.

   I'm so sick and tired of staying at home. The only time I go out is either when pam or Maddy comes around.

  
     Petra has been really flirty with me lately. Not that there was ever a time where she wasn't being flirty. I really, really like it, hell I look forward to it everyday day.

    Last week, we were watching a movie and we had a moment and she kissed me, i panicked and slapped her. She quickly apologized and left me to her room. I instantly felt bad, now she'll think I don't want her kissing me. When in reality I do,I've been wanting her to that  for a while now.

    She has been avoiding me since that incident. I really miss her so much. I miss her whispers of sweet nothings, I miss the look on her face anytime I come down for breakfast or dinner. I miss the way she comes to my room unannounced I just miss her. I miss the way she hugs my from behind when I'm cooking. I miss her warm body. I miss her scent. Ughhhh..I miss you Petra Kings!!

( A/N: I just realized they didn't have last names. So Petra's is gonna be Kings. I'm not gonna give Vanessa a last name now,cos I will definitely forget it when the time to use it comes.)

    I don't even understand how I'm feeling right now. Wait does this mean I'm attracted to her? Is that why I'm feeling this way?

    I can't be attracted to her, right? I'm not a lesbian,right? Wait am I homophobic? Is that why I think I'm not a lesbian?

   Ughhhhh....lorddddd please guide me.

      I don't understand this feelings. I have never felt this way for anyone. Even when I started dating Maurice. when he was still faking to be a saint. I never did felt like this for him. I never felt like I was going insane when he was gone for days.

    Oh lorddd, I'm now comparing the way I felt before and now.

       I think I'm getting attached to her. I'm going crazy, I haven't even set my eyes on her for two whole days! How can she just make herself scarce like that? Doesn't she consider my feelings? Why would she do me like that.