imagines shit (Sebastian's version)

B.B || not fat, not skinny

You are a middle sized person. You are not fat, but definitely not skinny. All the other girls at the compound are skinny as hell, and are gorgeous. You look at them and think "damn girl what an ass" and then at your self at think "damn fatty, what a chubby"

I didn't mean the last sentence to rhyme.

Warnings: ED
Word count:1200

Looking at your middle sized body. You hated every part of you.

head to your toes, you thought it was all wrong. That you look like a cow.

You always were confident, till one of the new young agents, asked you if you were the assistant, and you said "no I am y/n... the avenger" she looked at you up and down, with a look of judgment.

You knew what she was thinking. As soon as she left, you ran up stairs to yours and Bucky's shared room. He was on a mission, so you knew he wouldn't be in your room.

You looked at yourself in the mirror.

I look like a cow

You looked at the toilet. You sat next to you it, pushed two fingers in, and threw up.

And it's definitely not going to be the last time

***

The avengers never eat together. Maybe once in four months. But that's also rare. Surprisingly, today was the day where you all ate dinner.

You haven't eat anything in four days. You were starving. You had tacos night (because Scott begged).

Everyone are at least 3 tacos, but you were currently eating your 6.

"Y/n maybe you should slow down?" Steve said. You looked at him. Your taco. At him. You dropped your taco, and nodded towards him.

He continued his conversation with everyone. "Doll, you can eat. Don't mine him and his stupid ass" you felt Bucky's metal hand on your thigh.

Your fat thigh

You pushed his hand away. "Do-" you cut him. "I'm going to the restroom" you excused yourself and left. As soon, as you were out of sight, you ran to your room and pushed 2 fingers in.

You threw up.

But that wasn't everything. There was more tacos left.
Come on fatty, you can do better.
You pushed 3 fingers in.

You threw up.

"W-why?" You heard a familiar voice behind you. You slowly turned around. Of course it's him.

"Bucky please leave" you said to him. His eyes filled with worry. He shook his head. "Bucky please-" because you could finish he ran to you and hugged you tight.

You buried his head in your neck. "You're beautiful" he said. You didn't believe him. He put his hands on your face and looked at you.

"You're soo beautiful. I love your sweet belly. I love your thighs and I love you" he said. You didn't believe him, but had to act like you did.

You stared to cry, but not because of his words, but because you ate. He of course thought that you realized what you were doing, and are going to stop.

He hugged you again. You cried for being fat. He cried for his girl.

***

Bucky's pov:

It's been at least 6 months since what happened with Y/n. I feel like she stopped doing it, but I do see her losing weight.

6 months ago she was size 15 and now she's size 13. I did see her train as well. So maybe she's trying a different way to lose weight.

At least it's a healthy way.

All of us are sitting in the living room. It's movie night. Of course since it's Loki's time, we're watching scary movies.
And I hate scary movies.

Y/n is sat next to me. I lean towards her. "Could you hold my hand?" I whisper to her. She giggles and hold my hand. "Thank you" she giggles.

It's the first jump scare and I jump towards y/n. She doesn't let me stay that close next to her and pushes me off her leg. I look at her. "You are a super solider.. it's hard"

She has a point, even tho she used to let me be on her every time Loki picked a movie, so I don't know what's going on.

Another jump scare, I take my right hand and squeeze her thigh. She smacks me hand away. I look at her, but she still looks at the screen. 

I don't understand what's going on.

Another jump scare, I try to hold myself in place, since it's clear the y/n doesn't want me to baby here. She doesn't even flinch.

Her phone buzzes like every day at 7:00 at night. And like every day, she leaves to our room.

She always locks the door there and gets out only after an hour. No one knows why tho.

Now I want to know. "Where ya going?" Steve asks. "I'm gonna check what's y/n doing" they all chuckle. "Prepare to death" Nat says.

I frown. "What? Why?" She sighs. "Every time we tried getting in, in this time of the day, she would scream at us the next day, and we got the silence treatment for a whole week" she says.

"She snot going to do that to me" they all laugh. "Good luck buddy. See you at your funeral" Sam jokes.

I'm standing in front of our room. The door isn't locked. I can't hear anything inside. I get in and see that the bathroom
Door is slightly open.

I get in to see her throwing up. The sound, the smell fills the whole room.

Why did you do it? I thought- why- I can't-

"Bucky?" Her voice snaps me. "Doll? Why- I- why- I thought we-" she cuts me with her crying. I don't even know about what.

If last time was not for this, then is it now? Did she realize that
she's perfect? The most beautiful human being on earth?

Why can't she understand that?

"I'm sorry" I run to hug her. And there's no way I'm going to let go. "I'm sorry" she keeps on saying. And every time she speaks, I just hug her tighter.

"I'm sorry that I'm like that. The fattest girl in the compound. I'm sorry that I'm not like Nat and Wanda" she cries. "Don't you dare say that about my girlfriend" I cup her head.

"I know you think that you're icky and fat, but baby, you are the most hottest girl in the world. No matter what size you are I will never ever stop loving you"

"I don't care about Natasha or Wanda. I don't want them. I fell in love with you. And with that amazing body that you have" she cries.

I can only hope that this crying, is for understanding that she worth all the world.

"And if you think differently, I will do anything to prove you wrong. You are soo stubborn, but sometimes I'm right. And this time, honey I'm the most rightest man alive" she jumps on me. 

I fall on the floor, her using me as a human bed. "I love you. I'm sorry" she repeats. I stroke her head. "I know"