Here We Stand [H.S]

114.

There's a few lines in the Backstreet Boys song called Inconsolable that was pretty much fitting my mood right now.

I close the door like so many times, so many times before, filmed like a scene on the cutting room floor...

Here I was, sat in a house that I had never set foot in before, drinking tea that Liam had made for us all in the kitchen and the scene before me was like a movie.

Liam awkwardly handing out a cup to each of us, while I was sat perfectly straight next to Harry on the plush leather settee that was so comfortable it was good enough to sleep on.

Phoebe was sat opposite Harry, her arms full of the tiny little person whom was fast asleep soundly.

Across from her, Niall and Sam were sat in the corner, their hands entwined around each other's, yet while I was sat here, it all seemed to be to good to be true... like we were all a group of friends hanging around celebrating Callum's homecoming.

It felt like a dream really, but I was actually sat here with that two faced bitch who was sat across the room from me with Niall beside her, after she had shit on my best friend and exposed her pregnancy to the world without her permission.

I would love to pour that damn tea over her head, if I could.

The truth was, this was happening and even though I tried to close the door and deal with the aftermath of my anger concerning Sam, everything was left wide open.

I had unfinished business with her and I was struggling to sit here with a perfect, polite smile on my face.

But I had no choice, I had to do this.

But what if Harry was right, what if this was the wrong thing to do and what if the timing wasn't right?

And with our emotions being all over the place since losing Oscar, what if this was the final straw for us both?

I had to keep my façade up because of Phoebe and Liam though, I had promised a visit since Callum had been released from the hospital, but with everything that had happened I couldn't keep it up any longer.

The only person I wanted to share my feelings with about my baby was Harry, I wasn't ready to share Oscar with everybody else yet- everybody including Phoebe.

So I tried to carry on, because Callum had been through enough stress in his little life already and he didn't need anymore of it, especially from his auntie Izzy and uncle Harry.

I wasn't going to give Sam more ammunition and be the person responsible for stressing out my little nephew- even if you could cut the tension with a knife.

So I stayed still, smiled when I needed too, I spoke when I was spoken too, I flashed Harry a reassuring smile when he needed to be reassured as he anxiously flickered his eyes from me and Sam every so often.

I forced myself to stay strong, even if my heart was breaking on the inside as I thought of Oscar and stared at Sam, hoping she felt some sort of guilt because of what Phoebe went through after her piece on her had been published accidentally.

Or so she says.

I fell back to the comfort of Harry's shoulder, settling my temple against the crook of it after the whirlwind of what had happened to us the past week settled itself, the both of us emerged in the scene that was unravelling before us as Phoebe suddenly announced she had to go feed Callum.

I wasn't even aware she was breastfeeding.

Liam looked proud as punch, and seemed to have that proud daddy look across his face as his eyes became fixated on Phoebe exiting the front room with her baby boy safely and warmly cooped up in her arms.