Here We Stand [H.S]

159.

I huffed loudly, standing by the kitchen sink washing the load of dishes from breakfast this morning.

To say I was excited and nervous was the understatement of the century, and even though I had tried with all my might to keep it all in- now that I was alone and counting down the minutes on the clock, I could barely contain myself.

I tried to swallow back the sound of my heart thudding against my ribs, but the sound was not quiet, despite my best efforts.

I was nervous, and clearly, I wasn't afraid to show it.

It all felt very strange and being back home in London without Harry being here, it was totally weird.

Of course, since coming back from our American New Year break, we had been home together, but with him attending readings and even more auditions as he progressed further forward into the process of his movie role, the more nervous I was growing.

He wanted this, so badly... and today, I was getting myself ready to pick up the pieces if he didn't get the part.

I watched from afar, always catching him re-reading the script over and over, learning the lines he had been given and practising in the mirror when he didn't think I was around.

It made my heart swell with love and pride, but it also told me how much Harry really wanted this part and he was doing everything he could to win it.

Today was the final call backs, and even though Harry had done exceptionally well so far, this was the last hurdle he had to face... just him and one other actor: going head to head for a part in a Christopher Nolan movie.

Again, Christopher bloody Nolan.

In my heart, I knew that Harry could do it, but there was always that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that people would only look at him (if he got the role) because of who he was and what he did for a living.

So, I knew he was working ten times harder than usual to make the crew, production team and casting directors see him as Harry Styles rather than Harry Styles from One Direction.

I also knew that if Harry did win the part, he would have one hell of a fight on his hands to convince the public that he wasn't some ex-boyband member trying to make it in Hollywood.

Harry very much wanted to still be a part of One Direction, whilst also being able to do his own thing such as some solo work and a few movies that tickled his fancy- which is why I partly convinced him to sign Jeff's contract, which he did not long after my birthday.

Signing with Full Stop Management with Jeff in February was a career defining move for Harry, and although he was incredibly excited at what was around the corner, I grew nervous at the thought of how many record labels were now fighting and bidding over him.

Judging from his journals alone, I knew that Harry had started recording his first solo effort in the same month he signed with Jeff, and it was later than evening that he came home and decided to openly admit to me that he wanted to run his own record label- which would give him complete control of everything as an artist where his music was concerned.

As well as worrying about his audition for the movie, Harry had signed with Jeff, had already started recording his debut album, was in the motion of creating his own record label and was having meetings with other labels to decide who was going to be releasing his records alongside his own label.

Honestly, the last few weeks had blown my mind, especially when he came home and told me that Columbia, the record label which housed One Direction, had offered him an eye-watering $80 million recording contract for three solo albums.