Here We Stand [H.S]

127.

I stared at the envelope, my hands trembling after Harry had passed it to me.

"Do you want me to, um... give you some space? Time alone?" He asked tentatively, "That's private and I don't want to impose-"

God, I loved him.

"You're not imposing, Harry." I whispered tearfully, "An imposter is someone or something that I don't want here. I want you here."

"Are you sure, baby?" He asked gently.

I nodded, "Absolutely. I need you here with me... especially when I read this."

"Do you want me to read it?" He offered, his eyes meeting mine as we sat next to each other on the bed; "I don't want you getting in that state again, Izzy."

I chewed my lip, knowing I'd be unable to get through my father's words without getting upset.

So I nodded, handing him the letter that had discoloured over the years.

"Are you sure you want me to read it, baby?"

I nodded, giving him one more nod of confirmation.

"Do it, Harry." I sniffed, "Do it."

I took a deep breath, just as Harry's finger sliced its way between the envelope, effectively breaking the seal.

"My darling daughter Isabelle,

If you have received this letter from your Gran and you are now reading this, then I guess what I've tried to protect you from hasn't actually worked and my plan has backfired dramatically.

First of all, I am sorry.

I am sorry for all the pain and heartache you have gone through, and I am sorry for putting you through it.

I'm not sure how old you are reading this letter sweetheart, but I just hope you are old enough to understand that I did what I did for you- and partially for my own selfish reasons, which I'll get to in just a second."

Harry paused, before taking another breath and aiming his words my way.

"I just want to take a moment and really make you see how much I loved you. I'm sorry for how things have ended, that I've left you all alone and I'm sorry for the pain I have inflicted on you through my death- I hope you understand why later on in the letter.

I hope by having my words and this letter in your hands, that it will give you the peace of mind that you have probably been craving for since you found out everything... or something, at least.

But I just wanted you to know that you were my everything, no matter what anyone says.

People may call me selfish and say that I chickened out by doing what I did, that I wasn't much of a father because of what I choose to do, and they may very well be right- but nothing, absolutely nothing will ever take away the fact that I loved you more than anything in the world.

You were my life, my love and the apple of my eye Isabelle, you were daddy's girl right from the start."

I sniffed, holding my head back as I tried to make sense of what he was saying to me.

If he loved me so damn much, why did he leave me?

"When your mother and I found out she was pregnant, it was the most incredible day of my life (other than your birth, of course) and I wanted you from the minute we realised your mum was late (I don't mean to make you cringe, sorry); but it's the truth- you were so wanted Isabelle, and I had dreams of you being daddy's girl and your mum would have to fight me for your affection.