Here We Stand [H.S]

151.*

The last few weeks had literally flown by.

From spending that precious time with Harry in California, catching up with Ryan for a few hours (Harry and I went out to dinner with him) and also meeting his adoptive parents and younger brother, we came back home to London and faced up to the harsh reality of our schedules catching up on us.

I had endless pieces of work in college that thankfully Savannah, Terri-Ann and Charlie had given me rough drafts of to copy from to complete my assignments; while Harry became swamped with a workload that took him back to America for TV and radio appearances, award ceremonies, performances and God knows what else.

I was swamped with a schedule that seemed so terrifying I actually panicked that I wouldn't be able to finish it all on time before my Christmas break; so I vowed to never slack off again and promised myself that my workload had to come first from now on.

Thankfully, with Harry back in the States for promotion of One Direction's new album, Made In The AM (I managed to somehow put my foot down and make it abundantly clear that I was not going with him) I had one less distraction to think about, which meant that I could fully focus on my work and complete everything before the new term started in January.

Since coming back from holiday mode, we were both incredibly busy and found ourselves not being able to talk properly for a few days sometimes, but Harry always made sure to text and call me in the morning when I first woke up and in the evening to wish me goodnight, without fail.

The time zone was a pain in the ass sometimes, but we took what we could; texting and calling when it was convenient and always leaving each other a cute little text message in between for us both to read during the day if we were too busy to chat.

It was hard, but it kept us going until he was due to come home and it was always nice seeing a message pop up randomly on our texting thread which often put a smile on my face when I was condemned to my desk working my ass off.

Of course, I knew once he was home the workload wasn't going to stop there because I knew he then had the UK promotion to take care of; but at least we were going to be in the same country and if we wanted to see one another, there were always trains, cars or planes on standby.

It was weird, but the time I missed him the most incredibly was at night.

Not having him beside me in our bed, mumbling that he loved me and to have sweet dreams; or the way he'd make a racket while in the bathroom brushing his teeth or how he'd tickle me relentlessly until I'd scream I was about to pee myself if he didn't let me go... all of those little things were the things that made me yearn for him a lot more than usual.

It was the little things that counted the most.

Luckily for me, just like the good old days, I slept in his shirts as a way to keep him close to me... to smell him, to have him on my skin and to use them as a comfort to send me off to sleep.

There were times when I cried myself to sleep (not fully blown sobbing mind you) but I'd find myself staring at Harry's pictures on my phone and the one of us on my bedside table, and my body would just shut down tearfully.

It was awful being so close to him with my heart, yet so far away with my body.

I found myself stalking his Twitter sometimes when I couldn't sleep, and one night I even found myself reading through our DMs from when he offered to come to me when I was in hospital having chemo... it all seemed so long ago now, and I couldn't believe we were so close to heading to our first anniversary.

So much had happened in one year and really, I knew deep down that most men would have run a mile if faced with what Harry had faced with me.

But his loyalty to me had never once faltered and I wanted to do something special, for him, but I just didn't have a clue where to start.