College is the fresh start Mackenna Baker is hoping for, but her past follows her from the small town she left behind like a ghost. She does her best to ignore them and no matter how hard she tries, she can never seem to actually let them go. Shovin...
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The next morning, I woke up earlier than I would at the dorms and hid in the house until I knew Wesley was gone. I'm not ready to acknowledge the kiss and what that does or doesn't mean for us. I quickly got ready and hopped in my Wrangler and drove to my maternal grandmother's house in town.
Being around her was a welcomed change I needed after not physically being in her presence for almost three months. It was comforting getting to spend time with her and hear about her decent social life considering the way the majority of the town talks about her family.
After successfully sneaking back onto the ranch, Dylan, Sierra and I talked about everything that happened in the loft with Wesley and I, especially about the kiss. More tears were shed over the confusion and heartache I'm stealing trying to deal with. The girls and I deemed that night I came back to the ranch The Night of the Kiss.
Stupid and straight to the point, but it works
The rest of the week goes by with me hiding out until Miles and Wesley are gone, I take Ginger out for some sort of a trail ride, taking routes and trails Miles told me Wesley won't be on. Then I either stay in my house, mainly my bedroom, to keep my distance.
I'd like to say I don't look for him, but I do. I'm able to keep just out of view of the window by my bed. It lets me see most of the grounds around the barn and obviously the loft. I can tell when he comes and goes in the dark thanks to the low lighting in the room and or if I can hear Hank and sometimes Pepper causing a ruckus.
The only day I couldn't avoid Wesley much was Thanksgiving itself, my dad always had poor family host dinner for the hands and this year was no different in his honor. I still stuck to myself, never let myself be alone and if I felt him heading towards me, I'd find some excuse to sneak away. I chose the furthest seat from him at dinner and even with his eyes burning into me from across the full table, I kept my head down and pretended he wasn't there.
Even though my entire being knew he was.
He was always there, even when I don't want him to be, physically or mentally.
Dylan and Sierra, tried and failed, to subtly keep pestering me about Wesley. They are trying to understand my hesitance about the whole thing, but I know it's hard because they didn't go through everything I did.
One part of me wants to forgive him and move on, but can't decide if I want to be back together with him or not, while I'm still trying to work through everything he told me about why he left.
My dad.
Should I be surprised my dad played a role in Wesley leaving last spring? Probably not.
Am I though? Hell yes.
My dad made no inkling that he was the reason Wesley left that day. He acted like he knew there was something going on between us when I fell apart the way I did, but he never said anything. Maybe he would have one day if he was still here, but I have no way of knowing that now. He let me process, or whatever the hell I was doing those few weeks, letting me go out to the loft and sleep there. No words were exchanged after I threw that damn rock through the window, smashing all reminders of Wesley though it did nothing to heal the hurt in my heart.
