"Worthy" -Hueningkai x TXT

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This includes: Angst, Attempted Suicide
Hueningkai is feeling the weight of an idol crashing onto his shoulders.
He wants to give up.
But he still has four angels who love and treasure him.

A/N: as the synopsis may suggest, this oneshot involves the topic suicide. If you cannot handle these things well, I suggest for you to click off. I don't want to force my readers into reading things that traumatize them.
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The path to becoming an idol is quite hard. Already just auditioning can be innumerably stressful, because you want to prove that you have what it takes to become an idol. Then comes the long training process, in which you don't know whether you'll actually debut, or just spend most of your childhood dancing, singing, maybe also rapping, and being under a lot of pressure.

But when you finally make it to debut, all of that feels like it was worth it, and that nothing bad will come your way from now on, right?

Wrong.

It was late evening.

The members all had a break for today after doing their first 0X1 promotion, and were all chilling in their comfortable clothes in their rooms.

Well, maybe not Hueningkai.

He was alone in his shared room with Taehyun, but Taehyun was currently out at the gym, Yeonjun was probably taking a thirty minute long shower, Soobin was taking care of Odi in his room, and Beomgyu might be working on a song.

So yeah, he was all alone in his room, scrolling through social media.

He was on Twitter, searching under #txthueningkai in order to find out what his fans thought of his performance.

Most of them seemed friendly, judging from the comments under every post and the retweets.

Wow, Hueningkai is such a good performer!
I love this angel's voice!
Wahhh someone give him a solo already!
Our baby Hueningie is growing up 😭

Hueningkai laughed seeing these comments, a smile planting onto his face seeing them.

And then he scrolled to the next post, showing a fancam of him.

And in the next minute, his smile dropped.

Is this what fans call talent? Haha look at SM; that has talent
How is Hueningkai even an idol?
Half nazi breed
He's so fucking ugly I wanna throw up
Aha, another pretty face with a cute personality, but no talent
What was Bighit thinking debuting him
I might as well only like OT4: they're the ones that have talent and good looks
CAN HE JUST FUCKING DIE?!

Hueningkai pressed his lips together in a thin line.

"You're used to this, you're used to this, you're used to this..." he muttered, his voice becoming inaudible.

This was the downside of being an idol: people will hate your guts even if they don't know you.

Hueningkai shut his phone off immediately and just rolled around to face the wall, hugging some of his plushies.

This gave him a little comfort, but his thoughts were swirling.

Am I really ugly? Do I really have no talent? Is the only reason MOA likes me is because I have this kind of personality?

Hueningkai softly sniffled and just pulled the plushies closer, shutting his eyes.

An hour or so later, Taehyun came back from the gym, and opened the door, wanting to ask Hueningkai if he wanted to eat dinner together.

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