por mi| kevin alvarez

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your pov

i look at his bare back as he looks for his shirt around the room. i lay in the bed. snuggled in the covers as they hugged my naked body. the room smelled like sex. i'm sure if anyone walked in on us they would know immediately. i see as he picks up his shirt and quickly slides it on. "kevin quédate un poquito mas. ándale amor." he turns around and quickly comes to me giving me a kiss. "no puedo hermosa ya sabes como son las cosas." he picks up his phone from the nightstand and rushes out.

i stare up at the ceiling in disbelief. how can this man fuck the brains out of me and run out? every single time. i don't even know his last name or what he does for a living. all i know is his name is kevin and he pays for the hotels every time we meet up. i was well off and didn't need money.

but still it's unfair to say the least.

i throw the blankets off of me and make my way to the bathroom. i start the water waiting for it to warm up. i look at myself in the mirror my neck had a hand print that was slightly bruised. my body covered in love marks. my hips hand red bruises in place of his fingers. he sure as hell was an artist and i was his canvas.

i shower allowing myself to be immersed by the warmth of the water. sometimes i wanted warmth from him but it never happened. this was supposed to be a one time thing but it was just so good for the both of us that we came back for more. i sometimes wished things could be different. in the two years this was going on i wish for him to be more gentle. be a better person with me at the very least. try and tell me about himself. i was always one to open up. he knew everything. he never did anything but he knew everything. for my birthday i was hoping for at least a message but i didn't get anything. i remember the time i tried to get him to open up. he ghosted me for almost two months. this was a very unstable situationship. i was a bit tired of it but something about him made my heart beat faster.

although he would only ask for me when he needed me. he never listened to me. it wasn't like i was getting paid or anything. i was not selling my body to him. we were just two strangers who hooked up every once in a while. strangers was too far fetched even.

but kevin was unique. his eyes sparkled every time he saw my bare body. his hands caressed my skin softly. the kisses he left me where gentle. everything he did made me beg for more but when i did it was like a switch. when i begged him to stay he pushed me away. when i asked about him he would close himself up. i felt like i was talking to a wall.

the warm water hit my skin reminding me i was still in the shower. i grabbed the shampoo and messaged my scalp thoroughly. the bubbles smelling of berries and pomegranate. my signature scent.

i finished up my shower and wrapped the towel around my body. was it sad that i knew the drill? was it sad that i carried a bigger bag when we met up? i already had extra clothes and shampoo, conditioner, makeup. i just knew. we would get to it and he would leave like always. he never let me ask where he was going. he just left.

i never asked his relationship status. which even if i did ask he wouldn't answer. maybe he was married? for all i know he could have two kids and a wife waiting for him at home while he lay in bed with me. was it selfish that i asked him to stay? should end this thing altogether? maybe that was best for the both of us. i picked up my things and folded them so they fit in my bag. i notice a sweatshirt in the corner. i pick it up and realize it was his. a farewell gift possibly. even as i held it in my hands i could smell him. his scent left behind in a sweatshirt. should this be my parting gift? i need to find something better for myself. i can't continue this one sided relationship. i just can't.

i make my way out with the sweatshirt in hand. this was a goodbye gift. a goodbye gift i wasn't given. a silent goodbye gift that i took. i must continue my life without him. i must look for someone who will do everything he didn't. someone who meets my emotional needs. someone who loves me wholeheartedly. someone who wasn't kevin.

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