un beso y un adios| carlos acevedo

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your pov

~one year ago~

i look down at the message. contemplating if i should meet her like she asked. my wedding with carlos was in less than 2 hours. i sigh and grab my car keys. i should at least see what she has to say. i stand up and walk outside to my car. i heard my mother yelling my name but i told her i would be back soon. i get into my car and drive to the park where she wanted to meet me. my hands grip at the steering wheel tightly. i was nervous.

when i least knew it i was there. i get out and see her sitting on a bench. i knew i looked crazy in my dress but i didn't care. i walk towards her nervously. i sit beside her not saying a word. she turns to me.

"you shouldn't do this to yourself. love has to be a two sided thing. i didn't love him so i left. i know it hurt him but i don't want him to hurt you. please think about this."

i look at her. i knew it was her and would always be her. i couldn't compete. i wanted to hate her. i wanted to scream at her and tell her she's the reason my life is a living hell but i couldn't. i couldn't lie to myself. i couldn't even hate her. she's doing this for me. she's giving me advice.

"i know. all i can do is hope that one day he'll love me as much as he does you."

she looked down and shook her head.

"it hurts me to know that i couldn't love him like he deserved. i know you love him a lot, but he doesn't love you. just like i love him. i beg you to look for someone who will share your love. someone who will love you and respect you as much as you do them."

i stand up and look at her one last time. "i have faith in my love. all i can do is hope he sees my love for him is genuine." i turn and make my way back to my car.

one hour. i would be married to carlos in less than one hour. i drove back to my house. where i am met by my mother and tias screaming at me worried. "pensábamos que no te quieras casar." i laugh. "yo si espero que también el novio se quiera casar."
~

present day

i smile as i see carlos pouring himself water. he had his back turned to me. i walk behind him quietly and hug him. "cuantas veces te tengo que decir que no me toques." i purse my lips and let him go. he turns and looks at me angrily. "estamos casados pero nada mas." i look down at the floor and i feel as he walks past me.

one year. we've been married for one entire year. i agreed to this because i thought i had a chance. i thought maybe if he spent enough time with me he would warm up to me eventually. i wish i hadn't. i wish i would've listened to her. as much as i love him it pains me to feel unwanted by him.

the more i tried the more he hated me. i walk to the living room and look at our wedding picture. the fake smile on his face could be noticed from a mile away.

i sigh and follow him to our bedroom. i sleep next to a stranger. he's never touched me, besides on the day of our wedding. he put up an act for the guests, for our parents. i was happy believing his act was real. until he left me on our wedding night.

he hates me and our parents for putting him through this hell. i shouldn't have accepted to marry him. our families might've gained power but at what cost. our happiness. our freedom. our lives.

by the time i got into the bedroom he had already laid down. i stared at his back that was facing me. i always wondered what went through his head. i hoped he didn't hate me as much as he showed.

i close my eyes and tried to go to sleep.
-

mornings where always the same. i would cook for him only for him to eat two bites and leave. it hurt. everything was adding up and slowly making my heart break into little pieces.

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