H A U N T E D (NGS #11)

34th Haunted

Haunted

Influential

"Balita ko..."

Naia's meaningful words echoed on my mind. I was curious. Dahil sa nangyari sa angkan namin, halos magpahinga ako sa social media. I don't have time for those things. Lalo na't may napagtanto ako sa araw na 'yon, lalo na noong nakidnap ako.

He's probably successful by now? Ilang taon na rin ba ang lumipas? Lagpas limang taon na rin.

Siguro may parte sa akin ang ayaw na hanapin ang kanyang pangalan sa social media dahil baka may makita akong iba. That maybe he's already married? He got himself a girlfriend? He's already a father?

Masaya naman ako para sa kanya. At iyon ang isa sa hiniling ko na maging masaya na rin siya. Happiness is rare. He deserves it.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili na usisain si Naia sa bagay na iyon. I know it's a good news and I'm happy for him...

Months later, I started pursuing my passion again. Sa tagal kong huminto sa pagpipinta, hindi ko alam kung paano ulit magsisimula.

I remember how Roche told me to paint for my dreams. To vision my own life. It was colorful. But after everything I've been through, after what happened to me, the color blue that represents the sky feels different. The color red that represents love feels like a sin. Ang mga kulay na noon ay nagpapatingkad sa akin, ay ang mga kulay ngayon na nagtatago ng mga kahinaan ko. I painted my life beautifully just to trick my viewers that I have a colorful life when the truth is, it was all an illusion.

"Your paint speaks for itself," ani Naia pagkatapos kong magpinta.

I painted a girl wearing a puff sleeves with a flower on the side of her ear. Naka bun ang ginto niyang buhok at may iilang tumatakas sa gilid. Her golden soft curls made her looked angelic.

Naia took a photo of my painting. Sumingit ako at ngumiti habang nagpeace sign. Nagpatuloy siya sa pagkuha ng pictures at ilang sandali lang ay inabala ang sarili roon.

"I'll put it on my blog with my poetry on it..." sabi ko habang kinukuha na ang aking laptop.

"Chase... your... dream..." I started typing.

Naia silently sat beside me and watched how I continued typing.

In another life, I wish you were strong enough to walk away from the things that burdens you instead of carrying and enduring it for so long. It's okay to let go of anything that is too heavy to hold. It's okay to leave and turn your back. Don't push yourself to walk on someone's path while you're slowly losing your own direction just to fit in. Your long journey is your battle alone; it's meant for you to overcome it on your own.

"Do not trap yourself in someone else's dream and chase yours. Keep walking..." si Naia na binasa ang huling pangungusap ng gawa ko na prose.

I licked my lip and remember that one scene on my favorite Restaurant. Doon ako nag-umpisa noon... Someone even guided me that's why it's a bit memorable. Kumusta na rin kaya siya?

Iyon ang pinagkaabalahan ko. Naia's busy on her photo shoots while I'm busy with my blog and painting. Nakagawa ako ng lima na may iba't ibang theme. The Four Seasons Of Life, Chase Your Dream, The Killer, and the two prose with no titles yet.

"Vanessa..." I called while biting my lowerlip.

"Oh Cassey! It's been awhile! Kumusta kana? I heard alot of bad news about your clan. I'm sorry for that..." naging malungkot ang tinig niya.

Umiling ako habang pabalik balik ang lakad sa aking kuwarto.

"Uh... do you have... um..."

"Hmm?"