Stone Cold K*ller

chapter 4

Sienna Galeon

I'm sitting by the window in my room as the starry night twinkles around the crescent moon. The city light far from our secluded territory just by the dirty river. I comb through my long hair in silence. Thinking and thinking to myself.

And it's a territory idea for a person to stay silent for too long. It always bother me--like a vice. Because it makes you think too much, about everything. Where my thoughts lie, it becomes even more depressing.

I wasn't looking for a fairytale. I'm just looking for love. With my mind reeling in all the time I've come to fall for someone, I remember how the high felt. The heart throbbing, blood pounding, and flutters of wings in my gut.

It was like a moth to a flame, I had to ask myself multiple times if love was real or I'm am truly sick in the mind.

My therapist once said, "count to ten slowly before you react. In that amount of time you have some time to look around your surrounding so you could forget the feelings. Find a distraction."

A distraction.

Maybe I should have listened to her before. Maybe I wouldn't be in this situation I made for myself. So my parents wouldn't have wanted to keep me to themselves.

I dreamt of a future before, where I was cooking risotto in the kitchen. A man coming in from behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, chin laid on my shoulder, murmuring words of endearment.

Le sigh. I put my comb away and went straight to bed.

Sleep couldn't save me then.

I had nightmares.

****

"Cazzo, I can't find my other heel!"

"Maybe it's under your bed, Miss Galeon." Greta mentions from behind me.

I quickly kneel down and check, ah ha! "Thank you, my savior!" I praise putting the red hot heel on.

So I did find a dress to wear tonight. It didn't occur to me just how petty I can be until while ago. When I wake up this morning, showered, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair into a high ponytail with my long length hair curled in the back loosely. Lips painted in angel kiss red and a lightly blushed smoky grey tone of eye shadow on my lids. I matched it with a dress I've had for awhile and never even worn.

And it is as close to a sundress as it can be. Maybe a cocktail dress at most.

It's black with sleek material that feels like soft second skin. It fluffs out in a tiny flare while the neckline is slightly modest but the small crevices of my breast peek out. The sleeves reached down to my elbows.

I had to contemplate on the pantyholes. Nude or black.

I went with black.

Now I'm ready.

"Your Mama will throw a fit." Greta informs, raising a perfect penciled brow, "but you do look great."

I smile to myself as I grab my small purse that matched the get up, "are they waiting for me?"

"They left five minutes ago, you will have to take separate cars."

Not only was this my 'surprise' but this going alone by myself without them waiting hurts. It's as if once they had announced pregnant they have shown less care of what I do...almost.

They care if I marry.

They had alot to say about that then and now. So tonight, alone is probably just what I need.

Papa said to not embarrass him. But how can this not be embarrassing enough that they had left me behind to attend to the party?

As soon as I got into the car, the driver starts the engine and we leave towards the city of Chicago. We lived a little bit out of it but it was only a twenty five minute drive.

Grabbing my phone out of my purse I call them, "yes?" Papa's voice answers in a deep baritone.

I take a big breath, "is it okay if I grab a Starbucks coffee whilst in town?"

He grumbles into the speaker, I can hear Mama chastising him for something in the background, "fine." The line went dead.

"Thanks." I say back to the flatline.

To be honest, I'm quite nervous since this is my very first time to appear in an event, a charity event. I think the charity is for the Children's Hosptial at Central Bay. My family always donated half their earnings into it...tax write offs and such.

I start fiddling with my fingers in my lap, "Gerald," I call for the driver, "will you stop by Starbucks, please."

I can see from the rear view mirror of half his face as he rolls his eyes at me, "sure thing, princessa."

I frown but make myself busy on my phone--as if I had a life.

I'm not allowed to have social media, not for the longest time. I was allowed back then but then I was revoked my privileges because my parents caught me talking to multiple people. I didn't realize until then that they had tampered my phone to where they can see everything I send and have sent. Conversations and video calls.

I didn't have a right for my own privacy and it sucked. I wanted to burn alive for how embarrassing it was for them to see my naughty conversations too serious ones.

Sometimes I think I'm the way I am is because of them.

As I finally got my caramel, nut, white chocolate, foam whip cold latte. We headed towards the Gala.