For my sister | Negan |

5 - Promise me

I thought we were getting a puppy.

That's what I said when my parents told me I was getting a little sibling. I mean, you don't really see it coming when you're 11 years old, do you?

Though I admit I was slightly disappointed for a little while, as soon as she was born, I was crazy about Ella. Being 11 years older, you don't really develop the kind of sibling bond that you do when you grow up together. Instead, I always felt a sort of responsibility towards her. To keep her safe. To keep her happy. To teach her things. Whether it was math or what to wear to her first formal, I was always there to offer her advice. Even though she rarely took it.

I was devastated to lose our parents. But I didn't let it cripple me. Because I knew that Ella needed me more than ever. I'm all she has now. And she's all I've got. I had no choice but to allow that man to kiss me. I would do it again if I had to.

But I haven't told Ella, of course. She wouldn't understand. As soon as Negan and the Saviours left, she demanded to know exactly what I had done. So I told her that I hid the meds. And that we still have them. Which is true enough.

At dinner that night, she keeps looking at me over her plate. I'm a decent liar, but Ella seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to these things. She knows I'm keeping something back and she won't let it go.

'I just talked to Ron', she announces suddenly.

'Okay', I reply dryly .

'He told me King Asshole came back here.'

'Don't call him that.'

'Why not?' she asks incrediously. 'He's not still here, is he? Or is there more you didn't tell me?'

'Ella', I say tiredly. 'Stop it. It's best to call him by his name before you slip up when he is here.'

'Why did he come back?'

'He came to ask if we really gave up all the medicine.'

'And what did you say?'

'I said yes, of course. Now, can we please just have dinner in silence? I'm exhausted.'

'He didn't press you on it? He just took your word?'

'Well, they ransacked the place, didn't they? They didn't find anything.'

'Christina', she says, suddenly sounding emotional. I look up quickly at her sudden change of tone.

'What?' I ask her worriedly.

'I know you're holding something back. You can't do that. I'm not a child anymore, just... just tell me the truth.'

I can see now that there are tears in her eyes. I'd mistaken her inability to let it go for her teenage stubbornness, but I guess I hadn't realized how affected she really is. I haven't been myself since he kissed me in the kitchen, I haven't been paying attention. Of course she's scared... She has every reason to be.

'I'm sorry, baby', I say, leaving my chair to walk over and hug her. I run my hand over her face and brush away the tears. 'It's just... what I told you is true. We still have your meds and you're going to be okay.'

'So tell me the whole story', she says, sniffing back her tears. 'I just want to know. I want to help you.'

'You can't help with this', I say, blowing out some air.

'Please, Chris', she begs me. 'We're in this together, aren't we? You can't keep me in the dark.'

The fear in her eyes cuts straight through my heart. I don't want her to come up with all kinds of crazy theories. Of course she deserves the truth. I just don't want to tell it.