For my sister | Negan |

27 - My king

'Good evening, Negan', I say rather formally when he gives me permission to get up from the floor.

'Good evening, Christina', he responds, smirking a little. 'How are you?'

I walk into his room and then turn around to face him. Stay as true to yourself as you can, I tell myself mentally before I answer him.

'Honestly, I've been a bit shaken up about everything', I say, giving him a shy smile. 'Our talk was very... intense.'

'I didn't mean to upset you', he says, walking over to me. I prepare myself for the usually search for hidden items, but then he surprises me by gesturing to the couch. I'm thrown off for a moment. No search this time? Well, I won't mention it. Maybe he just forgot.

'I'm not upset', I tell him as we both take a seat. 'Just, you know... a lot to think about.'

'And what are you thinking now?' he asks, watching me closely with one eyebrow raised questioningly.

Though I told myself I wouldn't let him get to me again, I'm still a little nervous with him so close to me. I'll probably never not be intimidated by him.

I look away and fidget with my fingers a bit as I let out a nervous laugh. Here's the part where I'll be walking on the edge of truth and lies. I just hope he buys it.

'I think that... you are right. This is a good place, I feel very safe here. And you have done a lot for me. And maybe... maybe the people of Alexandria don't deserve my loyalty. Because you're right, they didn't exactly do much to help me...'

I bite my lip and look up at him before I continue. Maybe he won't like to hear this, but I think it's what needed to make him believe me.

'I'm just not there yet. I can't forget about them. About my old home. The truth is that I kind of like this place. I kind of like you. But it makes me feel like a traitor, you know?'

His eyes seem to switch a little when I say that. That I like him. Well, good. The more he believes I like him, the better.

'What can I do to help you get there?' he asks me. He sounds patient. Calm. Not angry that I confessed to him that I can't forget about my old life yet.

'Maybe you were right in the beginning', I say eagerly. 'Maybe I should get to know you better. Understand this place better. I've been thinking about something you said yesterday... What did you mean when you asked me who I was? I didn't understand that.'

'Ah', he says, his eyes lighting up a little as a grin spreads across his features. 'I can show you what I meant.'

He gets up from the couch and holds his hand out to me to pull me up. I look him in the eye as I take it and get up as well.

'Of course, before we go', he says, walking away from me. He walks over to a cabinet and pulls out a new box of medicine. 'Here you go.'

'Thanks', I say as I take it and shove it into my pocket. I notice that the big boxes are gone and wonder where he left him. I doubt he put everything into that cabinet.

'Let's go', he says, offering his arm. A nervous chuckle escapes me again when I take it. This is so ridiculous. But I decide there's bigger things to draw the line at.

So, side by side we make our way through the halls of the Sanctuary. Past my office, past our room, until we get to the platform that overlooks the market in the biggest hall of the building. It's still pretty early in the evening, so there's people all around, chatting or bartering or arguing. But they all fall silent immediately when Negan lets his bat come down on the metal railing.