For my sister | Negan |

58 - I can't do it

'Uhm, Dwight', I say, immensely surprised by his appearance at my door. 'Hi?'

I don't think we've ever shared a single word between us. I've seen him around, of course. Even if he wasn't one of Negan's top-men, he'd be hard to miss due to the burnt flesh that covers half his face.

'I need to talk to you,' he says brusquely, pushing past me without waiting for me to invite him in.

'Okay, sure', I mutter, closing the door behind me. Before I do, I notice vaguely that there's no guard in the hallway. Did Dwight send him away?

He seems agitated as he wanders further into my room. I only just came back to my room after a quick dinner in the office, provided by my guard, and I was ready to crash onto my bed after all the emotion of the day, but my alertness spikes up again at the sight of him. I'm about to ask him what he's here for when he opens his mouth himself.

'I thought you should know that Ella made it to the Hilltop.'

'What?' I ask, my heart immediately starting to race. 'How do you- I mean, I don't know what...'

My first instinct is to rejoice. She made it to the Hilltop! That's safer than being stuck in the woods. At least, until Negan strikes tomorrow. But then I remember that I just refused to tell Negan where she went. How does Dwight know and why didn't he tell Negan?

'I was with the Alexandrians when they fled to the Hilltop. We ran into them. Ella, Cal, Beatrice. They told us what happened and they joined the rest of them. I got separated from everybody, but we were well on our way to the Hilltop and the group wasn't found so they should have made it.'

I have so many questions. I'm glad to hear that they managed to join with the survivors from Alexandria. She'll be safer with a larger group and she'll be with people that she knows. But it makes no sense that Dwight was there.

'Why were you with the Alexandrians?' I ask him curiously.

He hesitates a moment before he answers my question. But then he tells me.

'I was helping them find a safe route to the Hilltop. And when we ran into a patrol of Saviors, I led them away.'

I regard him suspiciously. I have heard some about what happened to him. And his wife and her sister... It hits me suddenly that their situation was a lot like ours. Negan used the sister's medicine as leverage, so they stole it from him. The sister ended up dead, Dwight's wife became Negan's wife and Dwight's face, well... He's been playing the part of a loyal soldier well, but knowing some of his history, this isn't that big of a surprise.

'You're working against Negan', I say softly, drawing my conclusion.

'Never say that out loud again', he hisses at me, taking a threatening step towards me. I take an anxious look at the door, like guards might be rushing in to take us both. But nothing happens.

'You know what he's got planned for the Hilltop?' Dwight asks me.

'No', I respond, shaking my head. 'He wouldn't tell me.'

'He's going to attack them with weapons drenched in walker blood. He's ordered not to aim to kill anybody, just to wound. So they'll get infected. They'll think they're safe after the attack, but then they'll start turning.'

'What?' I ask dumbfounded. My eyes turn wide as I process the news. I imagine Ella in the midst of the injured. She may offer to help, since she has some experience, even if she doesn't like it. They'll start to turn all around her and she'll have nowhere to go.

It's a cruel plan. The warning has to be meaningful, he said. Well, this will certainly make an impression. Just the thought of more people dying has me feeling sick. But thinking of Ella in the midst of it all brings out the panic in my gut.