For my sister | Negan |

62 - Barbaric

The day seems to pass excruciatingly slowly, even though there's plenty to do. I can't focus on my work, because my mind is constantly on either Negan or Ella or both.

What will he do about Simon? Is he going to kill him? And what will he do about Ella? Is he going to spare the Hilltop to keep her safe? I don't think I can hope for that much. But he did say he didn't want me to lose her. So he'll do something, right?

I wonder what she's doing right now. It's hard to believe that only one full day and night have passed since the night of our escape. It feels like I haven't seen her in ages. It's a relief to know that she made it to the Hilltop with Cal and B, but who knows what's going on there?

I hate to rely on Negan to keep her safe, because I just can't trust him entirely. I believe that he'll try, but if it comes down to choosing between me and Ella and himself, I know who he'll choose. I wish I could take action myself, but I really don't see a way.

It's clear that even though we got very close last night, he trusts me even less than I trust him. Not one, but two guards follow me at all times. They don't say a word to me unless it's absolutely necessary. It makes me miss Cal. Even when he's was guarding me, at least we had fun together.

It's in the late afternoon when there's finally a development. We're all requested to make our way to the main hall of the Sanctuary. A pit forms in my stomach when I make my way over, escorted by my two guards. My guess is that this is about Simon. Is he going to do some sort of public trial? Or execution even? I certainly hope not.

When we reach the main hall, it soon becomes apparent that I was right. The hall is filled with people. Saviours, mostly. Some workers too. And in the middle of the crowd, there are two men.

Negan and Simon.

I feel sick. I can't watch him kill him. Even if we'd probably all be better off with Simon dead, he'll be dying for a crime he didn't commit. I couldn't kill Negan, but I'll still be responsible for someone's death.

My guards make me stand on the platform overlooking the hall to watch. Best seat in the house. But I don't want to see this.

Still, I cling on to the banister and let my eyes glide over the scene. Negan looks up at me for a moment when he notices my arrival. I can only stare at him with wide eyes.

This is your last chance to tell the truth. It wasn't Simon that betrayed him, it was Dwight.

Speaking of Dwight, I can feel another pair of eyes on me. I look away from Negan and find him staring at me from the crowd. Even from the distance, I can see the hint of disappointment in his eyes. Yes, Negan could have been dead right now. But so could he be if I'd given him up.

When the crowd quiets down, Negan raises his arms and takes a few dramatically slow steps towards Simon, who is being held by a two other Saviours. I guess the show is about to start.

'Simon', Negan starts. 'My right-hand man, my number fucjing two decided that I am no longer fit to rule the Sanctuary. Can you believe it?'

Jeers rise up from the crowd making it clear that no, they cannot believe it. My feeling of apprehension deepens when I see the grin on Negan's face. I should have known that he was going to make a spectacle out of this.

He makes a short lap to address the crowd, but then he turns back to Simon and looks at him with bloodlust in his eyes.

'If you wanna be the man, you gotta beat the man', he tells at him. 'If you can do that... then hell, you should be the man.'

What is he talking about? I frown confused when Negan signals at the Saviours holding Simon and they let him go. But then the meaning of his words hits me.