For my sister | Negan |

30 - Fine

'You still don't trust me?' I ask agitatedly, pulling my wrist free from his grasp. 'I just spent half the night and the entire morning fixing up your people. It wasn't easy, you know, it was a lot of hard fucking work. What more do you want from me?'

'You know what I want from you', Negan says in a low voice. 'I want you to tell me who you are.'

'This again?' I ask, rolling my eyes in annoyance.

'Yes, this again', he says, leaning in closer to me. 'And don't roll your eyes at me.'

'Fine, I'm... you!' I say exasperatedly. 'I'm Negan, okay? Does that make you happy? But Negan or not, I don't want a woman that has already gone through tons of trauma to get torn apart in a tiny fucking cell.'

'Come on, Christina, there's no-one around', he says angrily. 'You don't have to act like you care about what happens to this woman.'

'I do care', I say, affronted.

'It's not your job to save everyone, honey.'

'I'm a doctor', I say, my voice full of spite. 'It's literally my job to save people, honey.'

'Even at your own expense?' he asks, raising his voice a little. 'I was going to get rid of your guards, but I think all of this proved I can't trust you yet.'

'What?' I ask furiously. How dare he tell me that? After everything I've done last night. I should be getting a reward, not a reprimanding.

'What part of this has proved that I can't be trusted? I haven't done anything wrong!'

'You care more about the woman that shot my people, than the people that got shot!' he yells back. 'What's stopping you from letting her out of her cell if I let you walk around unattended?'

'That is the biggest fucking bullshit I've ever heard!' I yell, jumping up from the couch in my anger. 'First Ella gives me shit for caring too much, now you give me shit for not caring enough? I'm so fucking sick of this! All I do is try to keep everyone happy, or at the very least, alive... And what the hell do I get for it?'

I don't know if it's the exhaustion or if the rush from surgery is coming back somehow, but all of a sudden, I feel so angry. I feel like all I've been doing for the past few weeks is trying to appease both Ella and Negan, but neither of them appreciate me for it. Whatever I do, it's never enough.

'I was up to my elbows in one of your guys trying to save his life and you want to tell me I don't care enough? Actually, I seem to be the only one that cares. Because all you care about is playing your little mind games with people. If you really cared about your people that got killed or injured today, you would have killed Sasha already. But no, you'd rather try to break her spirit and use her for your own gain. Don't talk to me about caring about people, Negan. You don't know a single fuck about it.'

He opens his mouth to respond while he tries to recover from the astonishment at my rant, but I'm not interested in what he has to say. It was a mistake to come here. I should have just gone to lunch with Cal and Myeong. At least they seem to appreciate what I do. So I turn around and stalk towards the door.

'Where the hell do you think you're going?' Negan demands as he hurriedly gets up from the couch and catches up to me.

I've just opened the door, but he firmly pulls me back and pushes me up against it. The door quickly falls shut again with a definitive thud.

I look up at him with fury in my eyes as he plants his hands on either side of me, trapping me against the door. But where I used to feel scared being so close to him, now I just feel angry.