For my sister | Negan |

34 - Get over here

This has to be the dumbest thing I've ever done.

But even as the thought flashes through my mind, I'm taking off my shirt.

Negan has to be the most terrifying, manipulative, ruthless man I've ever come across. But every since I've been here, I've seen another side to him too. He really seems to care about his people. And strangely, I believe that he will keep me safe too. As long as I follow him, anyway.

And I can't deny my attraction to him anymore. The way he kissed me yesterday keeps playing on repeat in my mind. The image of his naked body is certainly ingrained in my brain now.

This could just be a shower, I think as I take off my jeans. It doesn't have to lead to anything.

Oh, who are you trying to fool here? You want it to lead to all kinds of things.

When I've dressed down entirely, I take a look at myself in the mirror. The last man who ever saw me naked was Aiden, the oldest son of Alexandria's former leaders Deanna and Reg. We had a short fling that didn't lead anywhere, because he was a bit of a jackass, to be honest. But that's over a year ago, so to stand naked in front of Negan now feels very... vulnerable.

But the truth is that I've already made up my mind. Even though it's a little uncomfortable and even though it's a bad idea on all accounts, I want to get into that shower with him and see what happens. So I take a deep breath and open the door to his bathroom.

He has a pretty large walk-in shower and he has his back to the door when I walk in. He must not have heard me, because he doesn't react, giving me another chance to take a shameless look at his backside.

But then he hears the door close and he immediately turns around. His face lights up when he sees me. I feel a bit self-conscious when his eyes look me over from top to bottom, but his face doesn't betray an ounce of disappointment.

'It's not fair', he says when he's completed his assessment.

'What's not fair?' I ask, confused.

'Some people get a pretty face, some get a great body, some get a good set of brains and some get nothing at all, but you... Honey, you hit the jackpot and went home with everything.'

'Oh.' I lower my eyes and laugh a little nervously. I try not to base my self-worth on what other people think of me, but of course it's nice to receive some validation now and then.

'Get over here', Negan says eagerly, inviting me into the shower.

My body trembles a little with nerves and anticipation when I make my way over and get close to Negan. Really close.

I almost laugh at the eagerness in his eyes when I step under the warm jets of water pouring from the shower. I have to say it's a relief to wash away the sweat and the blood of all the hours I spent fixing up injured Saviours, so I let out a small groan of satisfaction.

Negan stepped aside to make room for me and hasn't touched me yet. But now I feel his hands slide over my back to my shoulders where he starts to massage me.

'Didn't I tell you a shower would do you good?' he asks, his mouth close to my ear.

'You were right', I tell him. I close my eyes to relish in the feel of his hands on my shoulders. It feels very fucking good. But I can't relax entirely. I can't see him now, but he's right behind me and though he keeps a little distance, the thought alone that his entire body could be pressed against mine within a second, makes my skin tingle.

'You need to take a break every now and then, Christina', he says, while he continues to massage my shoulders. 'I can't have my doctor pass out from exhaustion.'