For my sister | Negan |

22 - Thank you

A week has gone by since the Walter-incident. Odd as it may seem, we're starting to get somewhat used to life at the Sanctuary. Of course we miss our friends but with no possibility of escape yet, we try to make the best of it.

Ella has gotten to know some other teens that she's started hanging out with. And if she's not with them, she's often in Eugene's room. She thinks he's a stupid ass for committing to Negan, but they both share a love for video games. So she puts on a friendly face with him, so he'll let her play with the console he's been given.

I make long hours in the doctor's office, but I don't mind. I always loved my job and it's not much different here. I'm starting to get to know some people. They're not all bad. Most of the workers are just regular people. The Saviours are another story. They're often assholes. Cal actually turns out to be one of the best of them.

He's still assigned to guard me during the day. But though he's still a grumpy jerk, we've kind of gotten used to each other. He lets the hard exterior drop sometimes. Mostly when B's around. We usually all have lunch and dinner together and even hang out in the bar sometimes.

Then there's Negan. I've seen him two more times for a sort of performance review. Fortunately, he's made it clear that he's pretty happy with me. So each visit ended with a fresh supply of medication for Ella. Being around him is still nerve-racking. But I think I'm doing a pretty good job at getting him to like me. The trick is to stay as genuine as possible, because Cal was right. Negan sees right through bullshit.

I manage to deal with Negan by giving everything I hate here a positive twist. It's the only way I can earn his trust without being entirely fake.

I tell myself he could just force me to work for him without giving me anything in return. That's how I manage to smile and say thank you when he gives me Ella's meds instead of telling him he has no right to keep them from us in the first place.

I tell myself he could have shoved us in a random broomcloset and we wouldn't have been able to do a thing about it. That's how I manage to tell him how much I appreciate the room instead of breaking down over how much I miss our old, obviously way more beautiful and spacious house back at Alexandria.

I tell myself he could have kept me locked up in my room and the doctor's office. That's how I manage to tell him how much I enjoy everything the Sanctuary has to offer, instead of complaining about the guards that still constantly follow us.

Anyway, he's been pretty nice to me. Seems to enjoy talking to me. And strangely, I don't hate talking with him either. When he's not asking me to sleep with him anyway, which he still does regularly. He's pretty funny, and he can be charming. So he's not bad company if you can forget he's a ruthless murderer.

Which I didn't forget. So with everything we do here, I keep my eyes on the main goal: getting the hell out of here.

Making friends? That makes us less suspicious. The more we seem to like it here, the less people will think we'll try to run.

Spending time around the Sanctuary? I'm studying every damn exit this place has. When we hang out outside, I keep an eye on the guards at all times and try to learn when they switch, which parts of the gate are least guarded, which guards are the sloppiest... Anything we can use.

Quality one-on-one time with Negan? Excellent. The more I see him, the sooner I'll grow on him. I'll laugh at his jokes, I'll blush at his flirtations, I'll let him put his hand on my back or my shoulder. Negan's not a fool, but he's a man and he thinks he's got me in his pocket. One day soon he's going to have to get rid of our guards and then we can really start to plan our escape.

But until then, I'm the Sanctuary's favorite doctor. And only doctor, but anyway...

'Yeah, I really don't think there's anything to worry about, Mrs. Wright. It really looks like a regular mole and it hasn't changed a bit since last week.'