Fictional Character One-Shots And Shorts

NM X Reader "Panic Mantra"

Emetophobia, OCD

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

Three times. Always three times. No more, no less. Three times canceled out any intrusive thoughts that may have worked their way into my brain.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

I couldn't stop now. Every 30-45 seconds that mantra had to be repeated in my head, just so, in order to avoid manifesting my intrusive thoughts into reality. If I didn't think the phrase correctly it had to be started over, else it wouldn't work.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

I knew I was staring blankly at the tv screen in front of me, dissociating as my mind whirled with images of myself getting sick in some way, shape, or form. They just wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop them.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

I tapped my fingers in a repetitive motion, thumb just touching the tip of each of the other digits before moving on, going from pinkie to pointer finger and back again. One knee bounced to give me some sort of fidgety movement, eyes glazing over as I watched but did not absorb the program playing on the screen.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

I hated these episodes with a burning passion. Yet, I had no control over them once one had started. I just had to wait until my brain found something more fascinating than my crippling anxieties to focus on.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

"Love?" A voice called softly just behind me. It sounded further away than it really was, my mind focused on other things. I twitched my head to the side as a response, unable to do anything more.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

"Y/n? Y/n are you alright?" She asked again, trying to get my attention. A warm hand was placed on my shoulder as she stood behind the sofa looking down at me with worry. I nodded quickly without a verbal response, something I knew would give me away instantly but I couldn't muster anything more.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

"What's going on sweetheart?" Narcissa had now noticed my fidgeting hands and legs, my hazy eyes that didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular. I swallowed the never ending saliva in my throat for the thousandth time as I tried to articulate my problems to my partner.

"Panic mantra." Was all I managed to get out through a cotton mouth, eyes darting all around as they refused to meet hers.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

Narcissa let go of my shoulder and came to sit beside me on the sofa, warm brown eyes searching for my own but I was already too overwhelmed for direct eye contact with her right now. I stared straight ahead and kept swallowing the saliva building in my throat, praying to whatever God could hear me that it wasn't pre-vomit saliva.

I didn't even feel bad, other than the anxiety convincing me that my stomach hurt. I was perfectly fine and healthy, just panicky for some unknown reason.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

"Can I touch you darling?" The older woman asked, knowing I was uncomfortable with physical touch even on my good days. Being touched during an anxiety episode could send me into a full blown panic attack if done against my will.

However, I nodded, giving her consent to slowly pull me into an embrace and lean against her. I wasn't entirely comfortable as I was a bit overstimulated from the effects of my own mind, but I pushed through them and tried to listen to the other witch as she whispered sweet nothings into my ear.

I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy, I am fine
I am healthy and I am fine

"You're ok y/n. You're perfectly healthy. You aren't sick. Just relax my sweet." I focused on the sweet sound of her voice, using it to give my brain something else to occupy its attention.

My anxious fidgeting quieted, my body relaxing into the comforting touch offered to me. I was still uncomfortable but I had calmed down enough to nestle into Narcissa's chest, the warmth of her body soothing me further.

The mantra was lessening, my mind quieting slowly but surely. The older woman held me as long as I needed her to, never pushing me to talk, just simply being there for me and reminding me I wasn't alone during these episodes.