Lost In My Imagination || Yang Jungwon

5 ¦ Flicker

"Do you want to be with me for the winter time?" 

He said nothing, is he even still breathing? I can understand that, tho. Who would ask such a thing? But he should say something. I can't breathe anymore... 

"Ahm... You're serious? You're proposing a relationship for the winter?" he asked uncertainly. Great, Now I'm unsure again... It was definitely a bad decision, very bad decision.

 "Ummm yeah.", I quietly answered his question. 

"What made you think that anyway?" he asked me another question. 

"I've been feeling alone and since it's almost winter and it would be nice to have someone, I thought I could find someone who felt the same way."

"And why did you think I would be that someone?" 

"You act more mature than the other guys and I trust you," I answered honestly. Then it got quiet again. Very quiet... No one said anything. I think he's thinking, I can literally hear his thoughts.

"Nah, sorry. Nothing will come of it.", he said and quickly walked out. He didn't even put on his shoes and jacket as fast as he ran out. I clearly fucked up... Now I have no chance at all with him. So unpleasant. Shit... 

Good that tomorrow is still Sunday. Then it won't be as awkward on Monday as it would be if tomorrow was Monday. I have to distract myself, otherwise I'll think about it all the time. Hm, maybe I'll meet up with Isabelle.

Me: Hey Isa, do you want to go outside? I have something to tell you...

Isabelle: Okay. Let's meet in 5 minutes by the tree.

Me: Okay

I made myself some toast with Nutella and ate it quickly, nerve food of course right? After that I ran to the bathroom, went to the toilet and brushed my teeth. Then I put on my shoes and went to our tree. 

When I arrived, Isabelle was not there yet. But I didn't think otherwise. It would be a miracle if she would come on time. After all, I'm not exactly the most punctual either, so I don't mind if she's late. 

"Hey, have you been here long?" she asked me as we hugged. 

"Hey. No, just got here." 

"Okay, where are we going?" she asked me. 

"I don't know. To our bench like always?" She nodded. 

"So what did you want to tell me?" 

"Ahm yeah, right. Remember that thing about the winter relationship? Where I meant I could ask him?", I started to tell her.

"Don't tell me you asked him." 

"I did, but he said no." 

She didn't know what to say and just looked at me in shock, sadness, disappointment and then pity. Wow so many facial expressions in just 10 seconds... 

"Man Isa. What should I do now? It was totally embarrassing. I can't just say hello to him normally on Monday," I started to speak out my thoughts in panic. 

"Heyyy, calm down. I'm sure it wasn't that bad. He'll for sure forget about it quickly. Come on, breathe in and out.", she tried to calm me down and spoke in a soft and calm tone. 

I nodded. I couldn't say anything more about it, it has already happened and I can't turn back time. Hopefully he won't tell anyone. And if he does, then I'll just have to go through with it.

TimeSkip; Sunday 13:30 PM

I was laying in my bad and watching Bad and Crazy on my laptop, which was very exciting and intresting. 

"Raven, come on. We want to watch Divergent." my mom came into the room. 

"Okay" I took my pillow and went into my parents room. I laid down under the covers between my parents. I honestly have no idea why my dad even watches this. He hates movies, says they are unnecessary and unrealistic... So what? Unrealistic or not, movies are the best thing in the world. 

Balou also came on the bed and laid down on my feet. Now it will be nice and warm. 

After half an hour my dad fell asleep. How can he? Divergent is so exciting. 

After the first part we watched the other two. Meanwhile, my dad woke up a few times and then fell asleep again. It was getting late and I went to my room. My parents think I am going to sleep. But it's only 10 pm. 

Okay, what do I have up until tomorrow for school? I don't know French anyway. I'll just copy it from someone. I can do politics on the bus. 

Shit, I have to give Jungwon his notes tomorrow. And then I have to talk to him... It'll be awkward, Very. 

Okay, Raven, focus on something else. Just keep watching your show.