Until We Meet🤎 ~ jayules

87

wednesday
jules's apartment 😌
8:20 am

~ jules pov

hayley doesn't know jayden's here. i'm at my desk and jayden's getting ready in my bathroom. i'm writing down my to do list today. my best friends are moving into their homes today🥲. they're starting school tomorrow maybe next week knowing them. i got an invitation to a party. it's danny's party it's tonight and the kickback party is friday for everyone at nchs. bella already i can't come i wasn't going to anyways. i don't wanna be around anybody. everyone bashes me for dating joey and jayden and blames me for what i've done and not what they did which is completely i love that. i'm never dating another j name again.

jayden's wearing her volleyball uniform. she's almost done she's getting her backpack right now i gotta walk her out. i hear her pick up her keys i'm just writing.

"i'm sorry about everything again" jayden says

"i told you i don't wanna hear your apologies" i say

"but i'm so sorry i feel like a asshole" she says

".. i hate myself for loving you.." i say

she was quiet, "i wish we could've did it better" she says

"me too.." i say

jayden starts walking to the door and stops, "i'll see you at my game right?" jayden asks

i look at her and shrug, "might be busy" i say

jayden let's out a sigh, "k" she says softly before leaving. i listen for the front door to close and i get up and walk out my room to the kitchen. i'm dressed for the day and cole wants eddie and i to meet at the studio after school thursday for a studio session to talk about our unreleased song 'sleep at night' we are most likely going to record it and then accept a meeting with genius to discuss one of the songs on our recent albums. as for my relationship with jayden i don't really know what i want to do. i'm in love with her but.. i feel like we're bad for each other we keep messing up. i don't want an unhealthy relationship all i've ever wanted was a healthy and happy relationship with someone but i could never just have that which is saddening😔.

NCHS 🦁
3rd period - calculus 🧮

~ jayden pov

i'm walking to class right now very slowly. i was just in astrology with katie watson and isabella we were talking about the kickback and some other stuff. i asked bella about why she broke up with zariah and she told me more info and i told them that i messed up with jules she caught me talking to people and they laughed at me. i told them she staying with me still too and they had stuff to say about that they were siding with jules. they don't think she should be with me anymore because we can't act right together which is true. we've always had such a sexual relationship but there was no other things talked about or built onto our relationship to make it strong. i've told people how jules and i would be better off as fuck buddies instead of dating but if i would've told jules that she would've strangled me and then we would've had sex. it's like our relationship is based off of sex and i'm cool with sex but sometimes i just want quality time of just us around each other talking or spending time together having fun together somewhere but it's like.. we can't even do that. it's always sex running through her mind when she sees me. i don't want it all the time but when i don't want it she doesn't take no for an answer she makes me touch her or just makes the first move until i give in which is kinda bad if you think about it. she's never asked me if i wanted to have sex she just jumps into it and when i tell her not now or something she begs for it and i can't say no. one time she did it anyway when i said no but i wasn't mad after it felt great. she's addicted to sex not that it's bad but i'd rather ya know have a relationship where we can spend time together without sex all the time and talk and enjoy each other's company. which is why my parents are saying she's a huge distraction because all we do is have sex and fight they don't like that. at this point jules and i have a soul tie. sometimes i wonder if she's actually in love or is she just saying that because we have a soul tie. we might really love each other but i don't think either of us are in love like we've said we were because if we were nobody would've cheated, we wouldn't be fighting this much, and we would have respect of boundaries of each other but none of that was there. i get it we have our issues jules mainly has the most issues like god😐. she gets nonchalant, has had drug addiction, got pregnant, has family issues, has something going on that she hasn't told us about, has been shot, has been chased by gang members, etc the list keeps going. i feel like i was the victim here the whole time i tried for jules i fought for her too when people were talking about her i stood by her but i should've listened to everyone else about her it's sad😕. now i feel like the dickhead for doing me? i know it's wrong i shouldn't have done that while with her but i get tired of our relationship and the way it is. i just want it to change or completely end.