Until We Meet🤎 ~ jayules

147

3 months later...
Sunday, August 14th 🍁
📍jayden's apartment 🤩
11:15 am

~ jayden pov

i've been so good. all i've been doing is working out, journaling, meditating, eating healthier and sleeping a lot. sometimes i would go smoke and get drunk with my friends but i only party one time a month. may and june and i was partying every night cus i stopped talking to jules. i was sad as fuck. i wouldn't stop thinking about her. so i had to get high and drunk.

sometimes when i think about her now i smoke but it's only when i'm sad and thinking heavily about her. like when i start seeing her face everywhere i have to. i haven't texted her in a few days i was just checking up seeing if she needed anything she is giving me short replies. so i keep it shorter. she's feeling how she's feeling now about me. i honestly haven't talked about her ever since we stopped talking.

on and off the media she isn't spoken about from my mouth. people want me to answer them about if me and jules talk or not and i've been ignoring jules won't even speak. so i ignore it. i've been making a lot of self growth and self care content and everybody loves it they just miss when jules is in my videos. my friends are still in them but they want jules too. i'm just like umm.

that girl does not fuck with me right now or ever again. i heard she's dating joey again. it's public it came out public after it was announced that she was caught on a date with nate and that's when i literally broke down like that hurt me. it was early june while they were on tour and they made a post about it and then now she's out with joey she just confirmed she's dating him like a month ago. i guess her and nate dated but they didn't work.

i don't know but she's been with two guys so far that i know of ever since we stopped talking. all i care about is if she's taking care of my baby. i miss touching her belly and feeling my son. i never even got to feel him kick yet and it makes me so sick to my stomach knowing she'll never let me feel him kick while he's inside her belly.

i could cry about it. i've been solo i mean dev has been around here and there but i keep pushing her away to be alone. i realized that i was sexualizing her way too much while dating jules. dev to me was like a quick fuck and leave but i never really started to see her for more than that until after jules was out my sight and mind for a little. i started to see dev as a girl who is very vulnerable and passionate and sweet.

she's everything that i tried to find in jules that i couldn't see. i was with dev sometimes and i would chill with her and not flirt or make moves to see if she was all about that too but now she's not. she just loves to have deep conversations. she loves hand holding, forehead kisses, holding eye contact, she loves homemade bracelets, hugs, and little acts of service. i mean i SEE devenity now. for more than what i used to think she ever was.

she's so much different than i thought. i like this look on her though. i enjoy her company and her as a person so much but i just can't make myself do anything with her anymore like before. last time we made out was at a party in june my last one because i got too drunk and i oded when i was in a room with her. when i did she freaked out she told me the whole story and i never seen her so scared before. i think i traumatized her.

i've been at my apartment and i've had a lot of people over only on nights i feel like it. most of the time i'm alone here unless they randomly pull up. but my apartment is like close to campus. i go to UCLA. all my friends do too and school starts tomorrow. everybody starts school tomorrow in La. i'm on volleyball team there i couldn't do both they wouldn't let me so i got in volleyball. i'm doing my major here too.

right now i just woke up and showered. i went to the gym last night and came straight to my room and knocked out so. i didn't even eat before bed. so i'm starving. here's a little picture of what my apartment looks like.