chapter eleven

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Mature content ahead...

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Draco is walking in silence. I don't know if he's simply enjoying the snow or if sharing some personal information is not on the list of our agreement.

We're walking around the school property as gentle snow settles down our path. It's not windy at all, quite pleasant actually. Only the boy next to me is a little stiff, cold even. Frankly, it's not freezing at all outside, but Draco makes this walk colder than it actually is.

I try to think about something to say to him, but nothing comes in my mind. Nothing. I don't know what to talk to him about. I've never talked to him about anything further than school before. I can't even tell what kind of topics he's interested in. No hold on, I do know.

"So you're signing in for the captain in quidditch this year?" My voice comes out raspy. But I finally dare to look up to him to scan his face. He's not looking at me, he's looking forwards at the walkway we are on. His hands are in the pockets of his sweater and on his face expression is nothing.

He's as cold as the snow, that is landing onto his so pale hair.

"Yes." Draco answers, his voice firm but with ease at the same time.

He's not giving me further elaboration. Because he doesn't want to. I feel like he doesn't want to talk to me about anything at all. I can't understand why. Why doesn't he want to know who he's jumping in bed with? Doesn't he feel uncomfortable sleeping with someone without even knowing who he's doing that with?

"Do you think you'll manage? How many have signed in for the captain this year?" I keep going, nevertheless to his intimidating dryness.

Draco doesn't seem bothered by my questions. He just seems as if he's not interested about what kind of questions they are. He's basically answering them like some exam questions on paper where he has to tick the correct answer to pass.

"Only two, with me included."

Two? Only two? I never thought nobody ever wanted to be captain. But who is the other one? The realisation kicks me right in the face when I remember who the other one is. James wanted to sign in for the captain, too.

Maybe that's why Draco is in such a bad mood. Because he fears that he won't get into the team with James as competition.

"Are you afraid James is going to get your place? Is that why you're in such a bad mood?" I still look at him, but he didn't even share a single glance with me as he scoffs out, his lips pull into a nasty grin as he shakes his head.

"I fear nothing, Lavelle. And besides that, I'm not at all in a bad mood?" Draco corrects me, chuckling out at my stupidity to even consider that.

"Everyone is afraid of something." I tell him, my voice slow and gentle so I don't shriek him off the topic.

"Well, I'm not." He says so dryly that I almost believe him. He doesn't add anything to his sentence. He doesn't ask me back. He doesn't.

Because he's not interested in hearing my answer.

"Come on Draco," I keep digging further. "It's normal to fear something. I mean it's natural. When we're born, we're naturally afraid of falling and loud noises. All the other fears come with our life. As we keep growing and experiencing, our fears and lows keep growing with us. I'm for example afraid of getting old.. or even flying on an airplane."

As I say all that I keep scanning his face for any changes but fail. His face is just the same as it was. This time he doesn't even answer to me at all. Draco only shakes his head; a slow and assured shake which tells me that he won't slide further into my question.

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