Memoires of an everchanging spirit

//blood collection tubes in my drawer

This is what I always admired about you;

You were never scared of the darker and more obscure parts of life, it's like you befriended them in a way

On the evening we got together,
You came up with the idea that we should draw each other's blood

But you were scared of me poking you with a needle,
So you drew your own blood
and I helped you

And I trusted you with drawing my blood (with a new needle obviously, we took hygiene seriously)

You know,
I'm scared of needles and I have bad veins

So it's a miracle I trusted you with drawing my blood,
As I don't even trust the doctors to adequately draw my blood without hurting me

This only shows how immensely I trusted you;
I trusted you with my entire body and soul and mind and heart

I felt so connected to you on that evening and I know you felt the same

It was right after I had moved out of my parents house into my new flat

There was only you and me
on that bed
in this room

With neon lights surrounding us

In a way,
you were all I needed back then

Just you and I, being

And you made me the happiest I have probably ever been

So we decided to just be

On that evening

Right after we had this fucked up idea to draw each other's blood
(I never told anyone about this)

You were scared of labels so we decided not to decide

To just officially be, on the 3rd of december 2021

This was a beautiful and complex and magical relationship
With the most fascinating person I have ever met

I could never forget you

I think meeting you is one of the most important things that has ever happened in my life

The two blood collection tubes with your blood and my blood in it are still stored somewhere in my drawer

You certainly left an imprint in my life and my soul

I'm more than grateful for you staying in my life for so long and being the light that guided me through my darkest hours.

It lasted as long as it possibly could,
We gave all we had

I think it's time to let you go now//