Memoires of an everchanging spirit

Thoughts about my "soul family"./

[01.05.23]

I read about a theory today that tries to prove that the reincarnation of souls after death is real

I don't know if it's true but it's kinda nice to believe that there is something coming after death and that our lives weren't lived for nothing

I believe in human connections and I think it's crazy how you sometimes just instantly click with someone and you can literally sense how the both of you are on an exact same wavelength

I have met some of these human beings and I felt insanely connected to them at some point in my life and they certainly changed me as a person forever; I carry parts of their souls forever in me

It's people I have trusted effortlessly; who really got me and understood my soul

The study, conducted by psychologists and doctors, says that people laying in a coma or being in a prolonged hypnotic trance-like state all reported the same things:
They told detailed memories from their previous lives, without remembering a single word after waking up, and they said that after you die, your spirit leaves your body and goes towards the light; it's where you transition to the spirit realm. You are at full consciousness. In the spirit realm you are then greeted by your "soul family"; it feels like the biggest and most wholesome hug; a reunion of souls you have loved throughout your lifetime. A soul family is supposed to consist of 15 people; and you reconnect and talk about the life you lived and what lessons you have learned from it, before choosing in what life and body you want to reincarnate in your next life. The goal is to learn as many lessons as possible in your next life and to grow as a spiritual being.

I don't know if this is true; maybe it's complete bullshit.

But I think I indeed met some human beings that are part of this so called soul family of mine - if I choose to believe it - and I think it's nice to know that there are souls, that are already connected to me and always have been and will be.

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I'm pretty sure my sister is part of the soul family. Not because she is my twin sister, but I feel like we complement each other in pretty opposite ways. It's like she's the ying to my yang. I just know that we will always be connected and I am happy to call her my home and my family.

I can count my childhood best friend in aswell. She's been there for me through all of the ups and downs and even though we sometimes drift apart, I just know she will never be gone too long. She knows me better than most people probably ever will; she's endured me when I was a bratty moody little teenager and she's listened to my soul and deepest thoughts for hours until my tears stopped running and the sun already began to rise.

My other childhood best friend is an amazing young man who suffered the same fate of being a closeted gay person in an unsafe home environment. He is steady and calm and argues logically and he somehow always manages to bring me back to reality when I drift too far away in my head. He is alive in a way I haven't seen in others. He gives the greatest hugs. We always laugh while sharing cigarettes at evenings on his balcony. I hope I never lose him too.

There is my best friend from school who I have strangely reconnected with only long after we graduated and now I can't imagine my life without her. We somehow always end up talking for several hours on the phone and spilling all the tea and drama and we're so invested in the stories we vividly tell each other. She's incredibly smart and she has hilarious humor and it never gets boring with her. I'm glad she's always there to give me advice, as she sees things from a whole another perspective than me and always with a sober but empathetic mind.

I guess I have to count my first love in aswell; and I'm glad we ended up being good friends, now that several years have passed. They remind me of a cartoon character. They're a little awkward and clumsy sometimes but have unimaginable depths in their mind. They have a good heart. They've shown me artists and bands that became my favorite music to listen to and they were the first person who seemed to recognize who I truly am. They were my biggest supporter and they were the first who showed me that I am an inspiring and amazing person who deserves love and forgiveness. I'm glad we're in touch again now, but this time as grown ups and not as little teenagers.

There has been this boy who crashed into my world and heaved me out of the darkest places I have ever been in. I spent so many nights at his place where we talked and smoked and laughed, sitting on the floor, until it was 4 am and the trains started driving home again. He was the first one who showed me what true introspection and self reflection looks like. He showed me all the blind spots of my personality I had to work on to eventually become a better and more mature person. The connection was intense and unhealthy but he definitely left a mark on my soul and I don't know if I would be alive right now without him; he saved me once and I saved him too.

The last member who entered my soul family has been the one who had the greatest impact I have ever experienced on my soul and who forever changed the trajectory of my life. We were two comets that collided; a flame that grew bigger and bigger until it burnt out. I'm pretty sure they are my twin flame and I doubt that I will ever have a connection as intense and passionate as I had with them again. They showed me what real, genuine love feels like. They caught my soul gently in their hands when I was too weak to keep on walking and they engraved their name inside the walls of my heart. They showed me depths of life and human existence I've never seen before. They were the moon on my night sky and a caring home for my soul. I learned so many lessons and I grew immensely throughout the time they stayed in my life. Looking back, it almost seems like a dream to me. I don't think I can handle the grief I felt when we split up, again. I wouldn't survive it another time. I just know that even though we don't stay in touch anymore; they are still looking out for me, just like I am looking out for them aswell. I just know that I will always care for them, hoping that they are doing alright.

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The people around me and closest to me have changed again and again and I think there's hope in knowing I still haven't met some members of my soul family yet. Human connections like these are so incredibly beautiful when you look at it like that and I guess I am happy to be alive and to have met these amazing souls whom I will never ever forget in my entire life, no matter what happens.

I hope life will keep surprising me with amazing humans I will meet along my way and I hope that one day, indeed, we will all reconnect and hug each other's souls and see each other again in our next lives.

Everything is temporary but at the same time we will always be eternal./