Before You (BY: Book 1)

You're Not Alone Anymore

Stef's POV

I have to talk now, or I'll lose her, and I absolutely can't lose this woman. She was it for me, it's too late, I can't live without her now, I have to fight for her, fight to get better for her. Even if it's mean that I have to do the thing that I hate the most... talking about my feelings.

"He said that I wasn't human, that I was a disgrace, dirty and that he should have send me to a conversion camp when he had the chance..." I blurt out, almost whispering, trying so hard not to break down in tears in front of her.

"He fucking said what?!" she almost yell, making me jump and lift my head, wide eyes as I see her fist clenched. She seems so enraged; I never saw that look on her face before.

"Lena..." I said getting up and walking toward her as she looked right into my eyes.

"I'm going to see him, giving him a piece of my mind!" she said turning around, but I catch her.

"No, you're not. You're not going over there." I said firmly, I would not let her step a foot in a house with this man inside.

"Yes, I'll go. He needs someone to remind him the definition of human. He can't talk to you like that!"

"No, you won't, I saw him rise his hand on my mother and I step up and take it, but I swear to God..."

"He did what?! He hit you?! And you think that I'm going to let that go?!" she screams at me as I never saw her this crazy, sure she rises her voice sometimes but this, I couldn't believe it.

"Yes, you will, because if he touches you, I would not be able to control myself, no one will. I'll fucking kill him, and I'm not just saying that. I mean it Lena. You're not going near him, ever!" I said squeezing her shoulders, making her understand that I was serious.

And that's when she broke down in my arms, crying over and over as I was wondering what got into her.

"Baby, what is it my love... what?" I said stroking her soft hair.

"I don't understand, I don't... how can someone be like this? And why this someone has to be your father, you don't deserve this, I don't understand... no one should be told things like this, why?!" she said crying as I couldn't believe how sensitive she was over this. This was my problem, not hers. Does she love me that much?

"I don't know, but it's okay my baby, it's okay..." I said sitting her on the bed again as she remains in my arms.

"It's not okay, you're not okay, you are suffering, and he made you feel so small that you can't even let people be there for you." she said looking into my broken eyes.

"Lena... I... I just don't think that I deserve it, I... I can't keep burdening you with this, you deserve so much more, so much better... I..." I manage to say before she cut me off by pressing her lips firmly onto mine.

"Shut up. I deserve you, and you deserve me. You don't burden me with anything. I want to be with you. Can't you see that I love you? That I just can't begin to imagine my life without you? You're a part of me Stef... the best part of me. So, please, for the love of God, try the hardest you can, to believe that and trust that, because we can't keep going like this. You have to let me be there for you like I let you be there for me, you have to let me love you because that's all I want to do in this life, please let me in and never let me go."

As she said this her eyes were burning a hole into my soul and I was feeling so expose, yet so loved, like never before and I have to try, and try, and try again, even if it's the last thing I do, for this woman worth it all.

"I promise I'll try..." I said, my tears sliding on my cheeks as that's when I knew that I had to let her see me, even when I was weak. And then I broke down. Right in front of this strong woman that was going to help me keep going with life.