The Child of Demonic Cultivation

Harsh Part 2

WC: 1015

TW: Brief Mentions of Self Harm
(Will be small recap at bottom of chapter for those who aren't in the mindset to read this content)

By the time the Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian and Lan Tian were descending along the trail leaving the Cloud Recesses Lan Tian felt nothing. He was drowning in his own mind and the demons that occasionally inhabited it. Not even the snow white bunnies they encountered on their trip could break him free.

Lan Tian watched curiously as Wei Wuxian struggled with the small creature trying to escape his arms.  "You must have been gentle and attentive while you were raising them. I couldn't do that." Wei Wuxian admired their draw to Lan Tian and Lan Wangji.

"No?" Lan Wangji asked.

"Nope!" Wei Wuxian smugly confirmed. "All the flies in the sky, walks on the land, and swims in the water turns and flees at the sight of me."

Lan Tian picked up one of the fluff balls, "You know, animals are amazing judges of character and mood." They added, "On the contrary, before today they hated me, so maybe it's just that they hate you more."

Wei Wuxian grabbed his chest and fell back as if stabbed, "How could you." This earned a scoff and a smirk from Lan Tian that reminded Wei Wuxian of somebody long ago.

As the group continued down the path Wei Wuxian began to complain prompting Lan Wangji to pick him up and place him on the donkey. At first it made Lan Tian smile as Wei Wuxian prompted Lan Wangji to join whatever scheme he was planning, but that moment was short lived as it only reminded Lan Tian of Jin Ling. All they could think about were questions that they wouldn't get answered, Is Jin Ling okay? Does he hate me? Could he ever care for me again? Did I ruin one of the only good things on my life? It didn't matter anyways, they were probably never going to see Jin Ling again. He knew deep down that the only answer he knew was that without a doubt, Jin Ling hated him.

"Hmm, all that's missing is a little one." Wei Wuxian thought out loud while motioning to his shoulders.

"There is no way I am getting on your shoulders." Lan Tian gazed up at their elders and could almost images what it would have been like growing up both of them raising him. It would have been chaotic, but fun.

As the three walked on enjoying and relaying memories ever few moments, the dull aching pain came back to Lan Tian's wrists. It was a feeling that they had been used to only a year ago but had not felt again until now. They knew it was wrong and that's why he hid it, for if anyone asked they would just say 'I was practicing some demonic cultivation' even though it was a lie.

"The owners not here so let's just help ourselves." Wei Wuxian suggested as the group took a look inside a farm house near the road they were following. When they heard the faint trudge of people in their direction, Wei Wuxian tackled Lan Wangji behind a bush and Lan Tian quickly jumped to their own bush.

The three observed the young couple as they made dinner with their child. Lan Tian couldn't help but feel resentful of the family, why couldn't they have that. If only things were different maybe they could have grown up like this. The images of a family flashed through their mind. Lan Wangji would be making dinner for them in the country side, Wei Wuxian would be teaching Lan Tian about the clans and cultivation, and then they would all sit down for a meal. As they talked about their day they would also discuss where they would travel next and smile. Jin Ling would live next door and they would steal glances, embraces and affection whenever they could. They could all be happy, and free. But it was only a dream, one that would never come true.

The couple caught his attention again when they began insulting The Yiling Patriarch. A previously subdued pool of emotions began to rise again. They clasped their fists and could only focus on the couples words. How dare they speak about something they know nothing about, he thought. Slowly, Lan Tian's vision grew darker as crows began to gather in the sky around the area.

A frightening inhuman growl came from across the field that frightened the couple even more. It wasn't until the couple ran inside the house and out of Lan Tian's vision that their sight began to return. Within moments they felt cold arms grasp their waist as their body collapsed.

"Sorry... Wen Ning." Lan Tian tried stabilizing himself as the other two elders wondered over.

Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian began discussing why Wen Ning came while Lan Wangji kept an eye on Lan Tian.

"It's getting worse isn't it?" Lan Wangji asked.

Nodding slightly Lan Tian confirmed, "Yeah, it used to be every year or so but this is the second one in only what a few days, weeks? I don't even know what day it is." Standing up Lan Tian walked with the group to where Lan Wangji and Wen Ning began digging graves for the fierce corpses he fought along the way.

Seeing Lan Tian so vulnerable and more relaxed reminded Wei Wuxian that he was still a child. They were supposed to be having fun drinking with friends and getting into trouble instead of this. He began to think about the two little ones he took care of at one time or another. First there was the little boy from the burial grounds, but then there was also the miracle child that he left in the care of another. Both held a special place in his heart, but he couldn't help wondering what happened to them or if they were still even alive. 

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Summary

Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian and Lan Tian followed the path as the three reminisced about their past. (This is the chapter where Wei Wuxian thinks of his family on the donkey.) Lan Tian begins to struggle mentally with their own pass and begin spiralling into a depressive episode. They soon reach a small house in the country side where they listen in on the family's battering of the Yiling Patriarch which drives Lan Tian to become overwhelmed by the power of demonic cultivation. Luckily Wen Ning drives the family away and helps Lan Tian out of the trance. After Wei Wuxian begins to think about the children he used to care for, "First there was the little boy from the burial grounds, but then there was also the miracle child that he left in the care of another. Both held a special place in his heart, but he couldn't help wondering what happened to them or if they were still even alive."