Sparky

Nightmares

Bucky POV

After my walk I head back to the compound, it's after midnight and I know no one will be up. I'm
Walking past the infirmary when I hear shouting, I rush in and Ellie is thrashing around on her bed. She is obviously having a nightmare, I go to her and hold her arms to stop her from hurting herself.
"Ellie, your having a nightmare. Wake up"
"No. No. No don't hurt him. Don't hurt him please"
"Ellie it's not real"
"Bucky!! Please don't hurt him"
She is dreaming about me, I shake her gently.
"Sparky come on. Wake up. I'm right here"

She shoots up and instantly cries out in pain, she falls back and I cup her face.
"Your okay"
She focuses on me and I see her sad smile "Bucky?"
"Yeah Ellie"
She starts to sob "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Bucky"
I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, her tears soaking my shirt. She grips hold of me so tight and I smooth down her hair and kiss her forehead.
"Just breathe Ellie"

"I can't.....I...."
I cup her cheeks and make her look at me "it's okay. Just breath please"
She slows her breathing down and I just keep my head against hers.
"I'm so sorry"
"Don't think about that right now. Just breath"
I feel her hands come to my face and she is staring right at me. She leans in and I want to lean in too but I just can't. I pull away and I see the hurt in her eyes.
"Ellie...."
"No it's okay. I understand. I don't blame you this is my fault"
"Ellie it's not...."
"It is. I left. I broke this and I'm sorry. I understand you don't love me anymore. It's ok"

Before I can say anything I see Bruce walk in "everything okay?"
"Yeah I just had a nightmare and Bucky was calming me down. I'm fine now"
I looked at her, not really knowing what to say. Bruce came over checking her and making sure her wounds were ok. I made my excuse and left. She doesn't think I love her anymore and that's just not true. I love her more then anything, why am I so mad? Why can't I just forgive her? She's home and she is safe. What is wrong with me?

Ellie POV

I'm so stupid, how could I ever think that Bucky would want me after what I did. He spent his whole life being alone and when I finally tell him I love him I leave. Of course he hates me, I would hate me too. I didn't go back to sleep after my nightmare, I couldn't. Usually Bucky would stay with me and he would help me sleep but i couldn't sleep by myself. I keep seeing Josh's death and then I see Bucky die too and it's the worst thing in the world.

Bruce is allowing me out of the infirmary today, he said I'm healing nicely so he is happy for me to move around more. The experiments hydra did on me, gave me faster healing but it still takes time. Steve has agreed to help me around, I didn't want to ask Bucky. It would be too hard to be that close to him.
"Ready to escape?"
"Yes please"
He helps me stand and I place my arm through his, we start out slow and take a nice walk towards the living room.

"There she is"
I look up and see everyone standing there, watching me.
"Hi everyone"
"How you feeling sparks?"
"Achy but ok"
I look and see Bucky sat at the end of the couch, he looks up at me and then looks away. I sigh and move to the kitchen. Steve is sat with Nat talking. I move a little too fast and feel my leg getting ready to give way. Before I can catch the side, I wobble and brace myself to fall, when I feel two arms around me.

I look up and see Bucky "thank you"
He nods and helps me stands "you okay?"
I nod and hold myself up on the counter. He smiles but it's not his real smile. He walks away and out of the room. I can't hold back my tears this time. I've lost him and I don't know what to do to get him back. I see Nat walking towards me "Ellie?" I turn to look at her and see her face turn to a sympathetic look.
"I'm not in the mood to argue Nat, I know you hate me.....everyone hates me......" I cry out and she walks over and wraps her arms around me. Holding me close, I grip hold of her and enjoy the feeling of my best friend hugging me again.