Sparky

Anger

Ellie POV

I knew he would be angry, I knew there was a huge chance he wouldn't ever want to speak to me again, I just hoped that our love could get us through. I know the last 6 months for him have been tourture and I wanted to let him know I was okay but I needed to heal first and be okay physically and mentally before seeing him again. The last few months I spent with him, I had no idea about our past, about our love and I didn't want to risk going back to him as half of myself.

I find him at the compound, in his room as I walk in he is pacing the length of his bedroom.
"James....."
"I can't Ellie, I just can't"
I nod "I understand, you have every right to be angry at me. Pissed at me and hate me. I'll leave and you won't have to see me again: I just wanted to give you these. I wrote them everyday for the last 4 months. I know it was hard for you. But it was hard for me too. I wanted you to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, I needed you there when the nightmares came back. I never stopped wanting or needing you."
I place my hand on his arm and sigh "I'm sorry. I love you"

And with those final words I walk away from
The only man I've ever loved and I hope he will read those letters and realise how much he means to me.

Bucky POV

I look at the pile of letter she left, I know I should read them but am I really ready for that pain. I reach for the first one and open it up. I see her writing, it's always been something I've loved. She has such amazing handwriting, I also dried water marks. I imagine tears as she wrote these words for me. As I read through the letters, I feel my heart breaking. She writes about the things she remembers and how they haunt her in her dreams.

She writes about how she wished I was there with her because I was her strength, I was the reason she was able to survive and how she was able to fight away the monsters that plagued her mind. She writes form the heart, telling me how much she loves me and how much she is missing me. I feel my tears overflowing, I was being stupid. She never meant to hurt me, she did the right thing and here is me, making this about me and my grief when she's been through hell.

I quickly leave my room and rush down to try and find her. I see Steve and he smiles "she's with Tony"
"Thank you"
I quickly run to the lab and see her standing in Tony's embrace. He is rubbing her back and I can tell she is crying. As I walk in, she lifts her hand from Tony's chest and looks right at me. She wipes away her tears and looks down to the floor.
"I was just leaving" she goes to walk past me
And I gently grab her arm. She looks up at me, I cup her cheek and rub my thumb on her cheek bone.
"Your not going anywhere"
I pull her to me and kiss her deeply, I hear her moan into the kiss as I slip my tongue into her mouth.

I hear Tony clear his throat and we pull apart, she is breathing heavily and I can't help but smile.
"Alright love birds out of my lab"
I take her hand and walk her back to my room, closing the door behind us. She stands by my bed and nervously plays with her fingers. I walk slowly towards her, taking her hands in mine.
"I love you so much"
She lets out a sigh and smiles "I love you too. I'm so...."
I place my finger on her lips "don't apologise. You did the right thing.
I kiss her again, more passionately this time, I feel her hands move to my jacket and push it away from my body, it lands on the floor with a loud bang.
"We don't have too..."
"Please Bucky. Make me yours"
I lift her to me and place her gently on the bed, making sure I show her exactly how much I missed her.