Sparky

Truth

Ellie POV

Im there again, there here again. I'm chained to the wall. Stripped of my clothes, whipped until I scream. Then he appears, he is dressed fancier then the others, he always is. He comes in smiling at me, licking his lips as he looks at me up and down. He comes forward, running a finger from my lips down to my chest, down my stomach.....I scream for him to stop.....he doesn't......his hand goes lower.....and lower and there is nothing I can do.

"Let's have some fun boys!!" He says as he turns to his men in waiting.....I can't do this again!! I can't!! I scream at them to leave me alone, to get away.......

"Ellie wake up" I hear a voice, a voice I know.
"Sparky please....it's not real.....come back to me" Bucky that's Buckys voice. He's here, I'm here. I'm not there. I open my eyes and I see Bucky nose is bleeding and I'm sat on him. Electricity running through me, I look down and see scorch marks on buckys chest. I jump away, shaking my head
"No. No. No. No"
He tries to come near me but I move away "Ellie it's ok. It was an accident, I'm okay"
I slide down to the floor, curling up into a ball again. I hurt him. I physically hurt him.

"No. No. I hurt you.....no......"
He crouches down next to me and takes my hand in his, I try to pull away but he won't let me.
"Ellie, you didn't mean too. It's okay"
I shake my head trying to get those images out.
Bucky gently pulls me towards him and wraps his arms around me. He holds me tight, I feel myself shaking uncontrollably. He just holds me, doesn't speak, doesn't try to get me to speak. He just holds me.

Once I've calmed down, I place my hand on his wounds and gently stroke them.
"I'm so sorry Bucky" I look up at him as my tears fall.
"It's ok. It wasn't your fault"
"They broke me Bucky, they......."
"They what?"
"They tortured me, they beat me, they whipped me and then they.......they would.....use me"
I look up at him and I see the moment he realises what I mean.
"God Ellie" he cups my cheeks and press his head against mine.
"I'm broken. I'm a mess"
"No your not ok and I'm here to help you in anyway I can"

I nod and slowly allow myself to melt into him, he picks me up and takes me back to the bed. Laying me down next to him, keeping me close.
"I can't sleep. I see them, I see them and what they do...I can't relive that"
"I know. Let's just lay here okay."
"Okay"
Within a few minutes I'm calm and content in buckys arms where I belong. I don't know how I was ever going to be okay, I don't know how to move forward with this. Going after hydra and doing what I did may have been the worst thing I have ever done in my life.