Sparky

Talk

He stands there, saying nothing just staring at me
"well? You said you wanted to talk so talk"
He sighs placing his hands on his hips
"Ellie I'm sorry, I know I hurt you and....."
I laugh "hurt me? You didn't hurt me, you destroyed me, you lied to me my entire time I've been here. You knew I was out there, a scared kid and yet you made no effort to find me. You say you loved my mother and cared for me and yet you didn't do everything in your power, in shields power to find me."
I walk over to him, so we are face to face
"Then when someone else found me, you decided to protect yourself and erase who I was. You just.....you just erased me. Changed my name and allowed me to believe I was a nobody. No family. No past. Just what hydra made me."

He looks down and shakes his head
"Ellie it wasn't like that......I did it to protect you"
"Protect me? From what? Knowing who I was. Knowing I had a loving mother who died saving me. Hydra erased my memories, I have no idea who she was. What she looked like I don't even know her name. But you.....you know all of that and you kept it from me. I hate you. I never want to speak with you again. I will continue working with the Avengers and with Tony but I don't want anything to do with you"

With that last statement I walk away and make my way over to Wanda and vision. Wanda wraps her arms around me and we walk back to the compound. When we reach my room, she hugs me tight, asking me if I'm okay. I nod and she kisses my head.
"Go rest okay. I'll come tell you if I hear anything about the mission"
"Thanks Wanda"
She smiles and I walk away to my room, it feels so empty without Bucky here. I don't even think I could sleep if I wanted too but I decide to lie down anyway and just rest.

When my head hits the pillow, I smell Bucky. I love that my bed smells like him. We haven't been intimate with each other yet but we do sleep together every night. He keeps away my nightmares most nights but he is always there if I do have one. I want to take the next step with Bucky but after what happened to me, I know I'm just not ready for that yet. I know Bucky would never hurt me and I know I would be safe with him but he is happy to wait as long as I need and I couldn't love him more for that.

I decide to put on a calming playlist, it's something Bucky made for me to help me fall asleep. I'm so tired, my powers are so crazy at the moment that the slightest use of them makes me exhausted. Even though I'm not actively using them I still feel them coursing through my veins more then I used too. I think after my meltdown, I tapped into something that made me more powerful. It scares me everyday, I never want to hurt the people I love, especially Bucky so I know I need to get them under control. As I let the music wash over me, my tired eyes drift closed and I fall into what I hope will be a peaceful sleep.