Red vs Blue : Mirage

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Church, Caboose and Tucker are standing over Church's body.

Church: I am not happy about this.

Caboose: I have an idea. ...I HAVE AN IDEA!

Tucker: Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose, we were just ignoring you.

Caboose: Since you possessed that Red guy, and took control of him, why don't you just possess your own body?

Church: Oh I see, so that way I would be living inside of my own dead body.

Caboose: Yes.

Church: Unable to move, just, laying there, rotting in the sun for all eternity.

Caboose: Yes.

Church: Okay, Caboose, I'll be sure to get right on that.

Caboose: I think you are a mean ghost.

Tucker: Dude, you really stink.

Church: What?

Tucker: Your body, it stinks.

Church: Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body.

Tucker: Quit your bitching, nothing's going to happen to it.

Church: It's a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest.

Tucker: Get over it, you're already dead. What's the worst that could happen now?

Caboose: Hey, Church, look, birds! Why are they flying around in circles?

Church: [as a sigh] Nuh, God.

Cut to Grif and Simmons on the Red Base.

Grif: Okay, I'll go again. I spy something.. that begins with...

Simmons: Dirt.

Grif: Damn! How did you-

Simmons: Well, because you did rock last time. That's all that's out here, is rock and dirt.

Grif: Yeah, this canyon sucks.

Cut to Tucker and Church watching Tex and Rayner fix the tank from the cliff's edge. Caboose is behind Tucker looking through the sniper rifle.

Church: How long do you figure until Tex and Rayner fixes the tank?

Tucker: Not much longer. They said it's going pretty well. The gun's almost working, and then they'll get it moving again.

Church: [sarcastic] Oh, that's just fantastic.

Tucker: Why would that upset you?

Church: Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it against the Reds, and they're all gonna die.

Tucker: The Reds dying is a good thing.

Church: No, Tucker, it's not a good thing. As soon as we beat the Reds, Tex is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head.

Caboose: A.I. ...

Church: Shut up, Caboose. And if I don't get it out before she leaves...

Tucker: If she leaves you won't ever find her again.

Church: Right.

Tucker: So what're you gonna do?

Church: I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do. I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank.

Tucker: You're switching sides?

Church: Sorry, guys. I don't have much choice.

Caboose: Church, uh, wha-what happens when the Reds out here.. to stop Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us..?

Church: I'll try to help you as best I can. Good luck, guys.

Church fades away.

Caboose: Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?

Tucker: I tell you what: kill me. I promise not to come back.

Caboose: Hey! LOOK AT THIS. [focusing on Donut]

Tucker: No.

Caboose: They have A GIRL. They have a girl!

Tucker: A what?

Caboose: A girl, a girl! Look! Pink armor!

Tucker: Oh man, how come they get a girl?

Tex: [from below them] Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right? And that I'm standin' right here?

Tucker: Yeah, Tex, but when we say a girl, we mean a girl-girl.

Rayner: [emerges from behind Sheila] Yeah, your personality doesn't exactly scream 'feminine' charm. [Tex shoots at him but he dodges] Aha! Too slow.

Tex: Grrgh! [turns to Tucker and Caboose] Care to say that again to my face!

Caboose and Tucker: [backing up from the edge of the cliff, out of Tex's sight] Nope!

Tucker: Wait a second. If Tex heard that, do you think she heard Church's secret plan to warn the Reds about her?

Caboose: I don't know... but I think I know how to find out.

Caboose steps back up to the edge, looking down at Tex

Caboose: Hey...! Tex! Uh... Did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Reds that you were fixing the tank?

Tex turns back to the tank then Caboose backs up to join Tucker.

Caboose: I don't think she knows. [fade to black] ...Unless she can read minds... She can't read minds, can she? ...Can you hear what I'm thinking?

Cut to Tex and Rayner.

Rayner: So.... what are you gonna do about that?

Tex: We're almost finished anyway. Once we finish I'll just use the tank and kill all the reds. Besides, what can those idiots do to me inside a tank.

Rayner: Ooh, feels like you just jinxed yourself.

Tex: I don't jinx myself.

Cuts to black.