Fade in to Sarge in the Gulch.
Sarge: Alright dirtbags, after the third round of the competition, it's still anyone's contest.
Donut: Yeahah, burn wrench, anyone includes me! Hahah.
Sarge: Donut was leading after the obstacle course, and talent contest.
Donut: Awesome. Whodihoo!
Sarge: But then the mysterious skull pulled ahead during the question and answer session.
Donut: That doesn't seem physically possible.
Sarge: So the standings are the skull, Donut, and in third the wrench. Which is the current crowd favourite.
Cut to the warthog with pro-wrench propaganda on it
Warthog: (beep beep beep)
Grif: Haha, maybe the skull will be your new sidekick. Hey Sarge, how can I kiss your ass if I don't have any lips?
Sarge: And in last place Grif.
Grif: What? I thought I was ineligible.
Sarge: Ineligible to win, dead man. Luckily there's no chance of that happening since the last round is the evening-wear competition.
Donut: Whohoa, you're in trouble now skull.
Grif: Then can I quit?
Sarge: Course not, only eligible contestants can withdraw from the competition.
Grif: (sigh)
Sarge: I guess you'll just have to settle for fifth place turdbelly.
Grif: Fifth place? Should I even ask who's in fourth?
Sarge: I'm reserving fourth place for any late entries, who would obviously be better than you. Such as a turd, or a turd farmer.
Cut to Church talking to Gary.
Church: Hey Gary, is there any way that you could translate what this big alien is saying to us?
Gary: no
Church: Aw come on man, isn't this one of the aliens that built you?
Gary: yes, but i do not know much about those creatures. i was only programmed with knowledge of the shisnos. i mean you.
Church: Yeah listen man, that word is really startin' to bug me a little bit.
Gary: you did not even know what it meant until i told you.
Church: I know but you just say it so much.
Gary: i only say shisno in context. like when talking to a shisno or about a shisno. i think i see what you mean shisno.
Church: So you'll stop.
Gary: inter-species prejudices take a long time to overcome. but i will try.
Church: Thanks.
Gary: luckily, i am not lazy like a shisno.
Church: Yeah it's pretty clear you mean to give this your best effort.
Gary: i think the important thing is that i am trying.
Cut to Church wandering the halls or something.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...
