S4 Finale: The Arrival

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Fade in to a wide shot of Blue Base.

Church: Uhh, I don't believe this.

Rayner: Oh you best believe it bitch.

Doc: It's true, your friend Tucker is pregnant. See, my little gizmo lights up green to indicate pregnancy.

Church: I thought it lights up green to indicate flesh wounds.

Doc: Yeah also that.

Church: And infectious diseases.

Doc: Hyeah, it lights up green for just about everything. It takes a while to figure out the difference. (Doc starts using his medical tool). Like this green, indicates a sense of longness and needyness.

Rayner: (sniffs) I miss my girlfriend.

Doc: And this green right here indicates a high level of anger stemming from suppressed feelings of inadequacy.

Church: If that thing keeps talking bad about me, I'm gonna fucking smash it!

Doc: And this green means impotency. Oops, actually that green causes impotency! My bad Church.

Church: Oh, that's okay, I wasn't using it anyway.

Rayner: I still wanna use mine keep that thing away from me.

Doc: See, these tools can be confusing sometimes. That's why doctors have to go to school for so long. Not that I'm actually a doctor, mind you.

Church: And that's never been more apparent than with this diagnosis.

Tucker: Uogh, what diagnosis?

Doc: Congratulations Tucker, you're pregnant.

O'Malley: Huhahaha, yes, with bastard. Muhuhahahahahaha.

Tucker: It's not mine, I wasn't even in town that weekend.

Church: Tucker don't listen to him, he's a lunatic, man, he's got no idea what he's talkin' about.

Doc: Uh, you want me to go over the green light thing again?

Caboose runs in holding "Andy's" skull.

Rayner: Whoa there Caboose, slow down.

Caboose: Doctor! Help! My second best friend is dead! Fix him.

Church: Whoa whoa whoa, Caboose, what happened, who's dead?

Caboose: Andy! Andy's dead. Look!

Church: Okay, that's disgusting.

Rayner: Huh, for a bomb he has a pretty nice jawline.

Caboose: Doctor Doc, please help him.

Doc: Uh, I don't know what I can really do to help him, my first aid procedures aren't very effective after decomposition.

Church: Where did you get that?

Caboose: First Tucker dies and now Andy!

Doc: Tucker isn't dead, he's pregnant.

Tucker: It's not mine, we weren't even going steady!

Church: Stop that.

Tucker: Hey look man, I've been saying that for a long time, it's gonna take a little while to get used to this.

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