Fade in to the Blues plotting their valiant assault.
Chunchbite: Blargh blargh blargh, blargh.
Andy: Then after we cross the Burning Plains of Honka Hill, we're gonna reach the Freezing Plains of Blarganthia.
Caboose: The Burning Plains are next to the Freezing Plains? I bet there's some pretty wet plains in between.
Tucker: This is so dumb, I'm not doing this.
Church: Hey, news flash, you don't have a choice. You're the one that picked up the sword and locked it to yourself!
Tucker: I know! And I'm so used to picking up things, and not letting them get attached. ...I'm talkin' about women.
Church: I know, yes, I got it.
Tex: Don't worry Tucker, we're not gonna send you alone.
Tucker: You're coming with me Tex?
Tex: Me? Hell no! This is the first thing you wimps have done that actually sounds dangerous.
Tucker turns and stares at Rayner.
Tucker: ...
Rayner: ...
Tucker: Please-
Rayner: No.
Tucker: Pretty plea-
Rayner: No.
Tucker: Rayner puh-lease! You're one of the guys that I know that can actually fight.
Rayner: Sorry Tucker, I don't know what to tell ya. I just went on an alien quest before joining you guys here. And I really don't feel like going on another one so soon. Maybe you can go with Church?
Tucker: Oh hell no, I'm not goin' with Church! That guy's a worse fighter than I am.
Church: Well you're in luck then, because I'm not goin' either.
Tucker: What? Then who?
Caboose: ...
Tucker: No fuckin' way. I'm not goin' with him.
Caboose: Oh, oh, oh, I hope we meet a Cleric along the way. None of us knows how to heal.
Alien: Blarhun?
Andy: He says he's a healer.
Caboose: Oh good.
Andy: Heh heh, not really, they eat their wounded. Heh heh heh.
Caboose: Just like chiropractors.
Tucker: This is a joke, right? You're sending Caboose? What's wrong with you?
Church: What's wrong with me? I saw a chance to get rid of Caboose and I took it. There's nothin' wrong with me.
Caboose: Okay, so, um, Tucker is a fighter, uh, Crunchbite is the healer, and, I am the powerful... and intelligent, wizard. Morphumax.
Andy: What the hell does that make me?
Caboose: You're the good looking and stealthy archer.
Andy: A bow and arrow? I don't have any arms, you freakin' moron!
Caboose: That is what makes you so stealthy. This is going to be the best party ever.
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Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorosFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...