-> karlity/crew boys oneshots [5] ✰

Drunk pick up (karlity) 💠

Fluff💠
Song:
Sorry idk what's up w me rn,I'm in a slummmpp and it rlly hasn't been this bad in a hot minute,this was supposed to be a story where Karl picks up drunk Quackity and brings him back to his place while Quackitys being all flirty,and they end up fucking so
Yeah.sorry.

Karl was on his couch,watching a show while eating cereal.
It was late at night,he should've been asleep,
And he was on the brink of falling asleep when his phone buzzed.
Karl stared at the phone vibrating on his coffee table for a while,trying to read who it was while it kept on moving.
Karl put the bowl of cereal that was Laying on his chest on the table and picked up the phone.
Karl:"hello?"
He said tiredly as he wiped his eyes.

Quackity:"KARRRRLLLLLLLL"
Quackity slurred over the phone,Karl looked at his celling confused.
Karl:"huh?"
Quackity:"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Quackity screamed Making Karl back the phone away from his ear.
Karl:"the hell? Are you drunk?"
Quackity:"YES SIRRRRRRRR"
Karl wiped his face in disappointment.
Karl:"quackity,why are you calling me?"

Quackity:"Karl...whAt I neeD from yoU...rigHt now....is heAd."
Karl:"what?"
Quackity:"suck my BALLS,suck my DICK,suck my TIP-"
Karl couldn't help but laugh.
Karl:"seriously,what do you want? Because if this is just a drunk dial I'm gonna hang up-"
Quackity:"karllllllll i Need a Ride homMmeee plisSSss"
Karl:"whatttttt?"
Karl said disappointed.

Quackity:"i knOwwww,i knoww..."
Karl:"dude- I really don't Wanna give you a ride right now,can't you call someone else?"
Quackity:"Karl,you gotTa understand your the ONLY one who isn't eiTher partying or sleeping on a sunday night"
Karl sighed as he looked at his TV,he didn't even know what episode was playing.
Quackity:"pleeeeeeeeeasseeee?"
Karl closed his eyes for a few seconds before he sighed and stood up.
Karl:"fine,where are you?"
Quackity:"YIPPIE,IM AT THE FUCKIN CLUB GETTING JIGGY WOOOOOOOOO"

Karl scoffed as he grabbed his keys and put on his shoes.
Karl:"what clubbb?"
Quackity:"CLUB RED HOT BANANA!"
Karl:"alright...I'll come get you..."
Quackity:"YA-"
Karl hung up before he got out of his house and into his car,on his way to club red hot banana.
The club was about 20 minutes away,once Karl pulled up,Quackity was already there.
Wearing those glow in the dark glasses along with a blunt in his mouth,smoking like a middle aged man who was balding and probably wore those dramatic joker tee shirts.

Karl rolled the window down and looked at him.
Karl:"Uber for Quackity"
He joked without any emotion.
Quackity went over to the passengers window and leaned down,doing a slutty pose.
Quackity:"four bucks an hour,pretty boy"
Karl:"Lex just get in the fucking car please."
Quackity Said in a stupidly high pitched voice with a smirk on his face before he got in.
Karl started the car again,feeling Quackitys Eyes Pierce into him.

He slowly looked over at Quackity,his dumb playful smirk with the join behind his ear like it was a pencil.
Karl:"ugh.."
Karl took it and looked at it,seriously debating wether or not he should hit it before he threw it out the window.
Quackity:"cmonnnn you know you wannna!"
Quackity teased as he laughed.
Karl rolled his eyes and threw it on the pavement so it would quickly go out.
Not before he took a very quick hit ofcourse.
Karl:"shut up..."

He started to drive.
The first few seconds were silent,but it didn't stay that way.
Quackity:"soooo....come here often?"
Karl:"Quackity,this is my car."
Quackity:"yeah! So trUe man..."
Karl just looked at him confused.
Quackity continued to smile.
Quackity:"your sooooo hoT when you drive...
Like a sexy formula 1..guyyyy"
Karl scoffed.

Quackity:"your lips would look great wrapped around my dick"
Karl looked at him,not sure how to describe his expression..
It lasted a little to long,causing him to slightly swerve and look back at the road.
Karl:"h-huh?"
Quackity:"sorry,did that make you uncomfortable?"
Karl:"uhh...no? I'm used to you saying shit like that at night but for some reason..you sound more believable when drunk.."

Karl awkwardly chuckled,getting a little red.
Quackity:"yeah...drunk truths are sober lies or...whatever the saying is?-"
Karl:"drunk words are sober thoughts"
Quackity:"what?"
Quackity looked at Karl.
Karl:"that's the saying..?"
Quackity:"what saying?"
Karl:"the saying you just-?!....whatever.."
Quackity laughed stupidly.
Quackity:"you know what I need right now?"
Karl:"no,and I don't care-"
Quackity:"PUSSSSYYYYY"
Karl flinched his body at the loud sound.

Karl:"ugh!"
He groaned and opened a window,for some reason he felt like it would make Quackity quieter.
Quackity:"what's wrong Karl? Don't like PUSSY?-"
Karl:"no,I-"
Quackity:"that's fine,if I were sober I'd call you a sex repulsed reject but maybe...pussy just isn't your thing."
Karl really didn't know how to respond.
Quackity:"I mean,I for one,totally get it! Pussy is great but....ass? Dick? Whoaaaa whole new experience,am I right?"

Karl looked at Karl baffled at what he just said.
Karl:"w-wait- what?"
Karl laughed surprised.
Quackity:"yeah man,can't deny it any longer,
it's LITERALLY eating me up from the inside that I can't just yell DICK AND BALLS!"
Karl flinched again,this time he was laughing though.
Was Quackity really Coming out while drunk?
Karl:"Lex- what are you saying?!-"
Quackity:"I fucking love men! I mean...love is a strong word but...have you ever seen a dudes ass in those pants that fancy waiters wear? By the way,when I say dudes I'm talking about mostly you,you were LITERALLY my awakening"

Karl scoffed at the huge compliment he just had to ignore right now.
Karl:"what,so you..gay? Is that what your saying?-"
Quackity:"KARL! you and your friggin labels bro! I'm a free spirit who likes men AND women you idiot,also,please don't tell sober Quackity I told you this your really the last person he wanted to know about it.."
Karl:"what? Why?? We're bffs?"

Quackity:"yeah? Your also the person who's opinion I value the most in life so...take that,
Lake hat?"
Karl looked at him confused,and honestly a little offended.
Karl:"I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me....I love you regardless-"
Quackity:"yeah yeah,shut your pie hole you spineless BITCH"
Karl:"hey?"
Quackity:"sorry.....that was very mean.."

Karl:"yeah,it was,what the hell?!"
Quackity:"dude,you don't understand! You love me regardless,I,did you hear that? I love you regardless!"
Karl:"what's the difference??"
Quackity:"I love you romantically! I love you regardless- ROMANTIC STYLE! It's not the same? And if you think that than that's exactly the problem"
Karl:"I-I totally don't think that's the same thing,it's very different!"
Quackity crossed his arms and looked away.

Quackity:"you don't love me,you don't love me romantic style...."
Karl:"Quackity...cmon,can we have this conversation a different time? Maybe when your not high and drunk"
Quackity:"I'm actually starting to sober up a little..."
Quackity said as he looked at the ground,he actually sounded normal saying that,and sad..
Karl felt bad,well,he felt great since he just found out Quackity loved him and the feeling was definitely mutual but he couldn't just tell him that now?

It felt wasted,Quackity would wake up and not remember shit,it just wasn't worth a confession.
Karl:"even if you are,this isn't really the time or place..."
Quackity:"fine...whatever.."
Karl pulled Into his drive way.
Quackity:"why are we at your house?"
Karl:"your house is further away and you need supervision,we're herrrree!"