70. {epilogue}

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"Hi. My names Matteo Reign, and I've been sober now for three years." Matteo says, eyes falling around the room.

Everybody says. "Hello Matteo." In reply.

His eyes land on mine, then flick to beside me.

He takes a breath. "I chose to get sober when I married my wife. She's what my anchor is." He clears his throat. "I remember waking up the day after our wedding, I realised I needed to get better for her. I had made a huge commitment and if I kept relapsing, which I previously did before, I was going to lose her, and I wouldn't have ever recovered if I lost her."

I rest my hand on my stomach.

He looks up, then looks down and takes a breath. "It didn't stop me, though. Sometimes the urges were so strong, I'd sneak out in the middle of the night just to drink. I had recovered before, when I was 22, but the second time around on the road to sobriety, it's much harder."

"She was what went through my head every single time I picked up a drink. I knew she would be disappointed coming home smelling the alcohol from me." He looks up again. "So disappointed to the point where she almost made a decision that would've changed her life."

I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

He lets a couple fall too.

"I uh..." He clears his throat. "I came home one day, so out of it that she just up and left, crying." He stutters. "It was only 3 months into our marriage and I had already broke one of our vows, I didn't blame her for leaving."

"But then my mom called and we got into this big argument and my wife..." He stops. "My wife told me that I needed to stop. I needed to stop breaking our promises, or vows, her trust- her." He stops again. "And then she told me that she was pregnant."

The room was silent listening to him talk. This is the first AA talk i've been too with him.

"She told me that she was going to get rid of the baby because I was unreliable and the last thing she wanted was an unreliable husband and father to her child."

The atmosphere in the room completely changed.

"I knew then... I knew everything had to change. I started my road to sobriety again, extremely difficult but she, and the baby she was growing, they helped me through it." His eyes fall to our girl sitting beside me, completely clueless on this entire thing, just looking around the room.

"Every urge I got, whether it was alcohol or drugs, even weed; I thought of my wife and my baby." His voice cracks. "And they gave me the hope I needed to survive."

I wipe my cheeks.

"I would have ended up killing myself if it wasn't for my wonderful wife, and then my baby would have been left without a papa too." He looks at me. "Getting sober was the best thing that I ever did, and I would never bargain it for alcohol ever again." He takes a breath. "Thank you for listening to my story."

He walks back, lifting Gabriela up and placing her on his lap. "Hey baby." He kisses her cheek.

She smiles, resting her head on his chest.

He doesn't look at me for a moment.

But then he turns and nods his head. "Thank you for coming, pretty."

I smile. "Thank you for inviting me."

He smiles, then listens to everybody else's stories.

Gabriela keeps him in check. He's such a girl dad, it's the cutest thing ever. I remember when she was born and he begged the midwife to allow him to deliver her.

He cried more than I did that day. And every day until she could walk. Still to this day, he'll start crying if she does something cute or just anything a child is supposed to do.

She's our beautiful little girl. She looks like both of us mixed perfectly, it's always funny too when she's with her cousins and everybody thinks they're just friends because they all look completely different.

When the meeting ends, he holds my hand as he carries her to the car. He sings a song as he puts her in her seat. "Ice cream?" She asks.

"Of course." He kisses her cheek.

He gets in the car beside me, hand on my thigh as he starts to drive. "I'm starving." I put my hand on his.

"There's a resturant by the ice cream store."

"I want something sweet."

"Mamma, get ice cream." Gabriela says, then starts singing ice cream.

I smile. "We'll get ice cream."

He kisses my hand, then drives us to the gelato store.

Gabriela wanted a rainbow unicorn flavoured gelato, whatever that was, while Matteo and I just get a plain vanilla.

"Mamma." Gabriela groans. "Head hurts."

"You gotta brain freeze." I take the spoon off her. "Slow down."

She mocks me but gives me a cheeky smile as an apology.

After Ice cream, we take her home. I start to bathe her while Matteo cooks.

"Mommy." She plays with the duck.

"Yes."

"I want friends. Like Renzo and Rora."

I smile. "Siblings. Want a little brother or sister?"

She thinks for a moment. "Sister."

It is time for Matteo and I to think about another one.

"You'd have to wait a while."

She pouts. "How long?"

"Nine months."

She turns her head. "Okay. I can wait." She shrugs, then starts singing again.

I laugh, put her nightgown on and tuck her into bed.

Matteo spoils the shit out of her. She has an entire room full of toys because he can't say no to her.

For the millionth time, she asks to hear the story of how me and Matteo met, so I tell her it all again until her eyes are barely open.

I kiss her head, walking down the stairs to Matteo singing while signing a song in Italian.

I sneak up behind him. "Hm, when's it too soon to make another?"

He turns around. "Already?"

"Gaby wants a sister. Said she wants friends like Renzo and Rora." I smile. "Plus, I'm ready."

His face lights up, and he turns the cooker straight off, bending me over the counter.

Damn lucky Gaby didn't wake up.

He came in me with absolutely no problem and then started cooking again as if nothing happened.

We sit on the couch to eat.

Just for good measures, he fucks me there too.

I rest my head on his chest. "I want all girls."

"Not even one boy?" He runs his fingers through my hair.

"Why don't you change the rules and make a girl an heir." I kiss his jaw. "Gaby already likes hearing your stories."

He smiles. "Gabriela Reign, capo of new york." He giggles. "I like it."

I shake my head, and two weeks later we find out I'm pregnant again.

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screaming crying throwing up punch me in the face

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