Little Bitch

Chapter 59

Chapter 59

After the Thanksgiving weekend, life went back to normal.

Lexi and I were both busy with school.

We had midterms to study for and last college applications to send.

I wasn't really sure what I wanted to study in yet, so it made any decisions about where specifically I wanted to go a little difficult.

Lexi mostly didn't want to talk about college. The change stressed her out too much. She didn't need to tell me how she felt, I just knew it.

I knew that Lexi wanted to stay close to home. She didn't want t leave her father and brother behind. She wanted to be close enough to visit often. I understood that, with the way her mother and sister had left.

So, I didn't press. I knew she could come to me if she wanted to talk about it. And I knew we could manage to deal with the possibility of not going to the same college.

College was just four years after all. I'd waited for Lexi for much longer. I could wait again.

We had time. We had all the time in the world.

It was one of the reasons why Lexi wasn't pushing for anything more to happen between us and I didn't ask just yet.

I knew we were going to be together for a while.

There was no need to hurry.

I told this to Doctor Boseman one day during therapy. "I think I'm starting to think more and more that I don't need to rush things because I have more time ahead of me."

"That's great Blake."

"One of the reasons why I never really planned for college was probably because I didn't think I'd live long enough for that," I continued, "But now I see my future. And I really like it. Even if I don't have everything figured out. It's okay. I'm kind of excited to plan it."

Doctor Boseman smiled at me. "I'm really glad to hear this, Blake. And it's true. You don't need all the answers right away. You don't need to know everything. It's the perfect time for you know, to start figuring things out. Little by little."

"It's kind of weird to think though... and to admit that I really didn't see a future for myself before. I was really in a destructive place. It probably didn't help with my head in general."

"How are the headaches?" he asked me.

"Fairly manageable," I replied. I had a few headaches, here and there, after the last big one, but always had been able to manage them with my medication.

"Make sure to check with your physician, that everything is going well. With your new medication, we don't want anything to happen."

I nodded. "I have a check up soon."

"Good."

So, life was mostly great. Football, hadn't been so great though. We lost our last away game, and we lost our first game during the playoffs so we were out right away.

I didn't take it too roughly. The last game, where my parents had been there had felt like the most final one. I guessed it had felt the same for most of the guys too, so that was why we didn't play our A games.

Also, it was getting too cold to be efficient players.

Josh continued with his plans to leave. And he started to plan for a longer trip.

"I can't do Christmas at home," he told me, one evening when he was hanging out at my house.

"Have you talked with your family?" I asked.