The formula one family [2]

Part 19:When you're on the verge of killing yourself

Flora Formula

Me and dad arrived at the paddock. Dad was late, like really late. But I don't think he cares. I attempted to walk further. "Nope, you're with me.", he said pulling on my arm. I followed him. "Lewis! You're late!", said grandpa Toto. "I know, and I'm sorry, I overslept, Flora woke me up.", said dad. "Alright, get ready, practice 3 starts in 20 minutes.", said grandpa walking away. "You shouldn't lie for me!", I said to dad. "I promised that nobody would ever know.", he said to me. "Thanks.", I said. "Go to the garage, I'll be right there.", said dad. "Alright.", I said. I went to the garage. "Hi, where were you?", asked Jack. "I'm sorry, dad overslept, I had to wake him.", I said following dad his story. "Alright.", said Jack. He sat next to me. "Have you heard from P?", asked Jack. "She's fine, she's spending time with the boys.", I said. "What's wrong?", asked Jack. "What? Nothing?", I asked. "I can hear it in your tone.", said Jack. "I'm fine, Jack.", I said. "Not to sure about that.", he said. "I'm fine.", I said. "Did your boyfriend do something?", asked Jack. "I don't have a boyfriend.", I said laughing. "And what about Matthias?", asked Jack. "He's not my boyfriend.", I said. "I'm so sorry you guys broke up.", he said. "He was never my boyfriend in the first place.", I said laughing. "Really? But the kiss.", said Jack. "It doesn't mean that we're a couple.", I said. "Ah, I'm sorry I assumed.", he said. "It's fine.", I said smiling. He hugged me. "You know that if something is wrong, you can always tell me.", said Jack. "I know.", I said. I hugged him too. "Hey, tell dad that I'm going to relax. And that I'll be fine.", I said. "Alright, where are you going?", asked Jack. "To relax.", I said walking away.

I put on my playlist and laid back in père Charles his room.

If I would have known-Kyle Hume

Sara-We Three

Let it go-James Bay

Black Friday-Tom Odell

Things we lost in the fire-Bastille

Wolves-Selena Gomez, Marshmallow

Where's my love-SYML

Way down we go-KALEO

Soap-Melanie Martinez

Lost without you-Freya Ridings

Right now-One direction

And many more

It was my way to relax, escape all the violence and sadness. Because honestly, I've had it. It's he died, she died, he got kidnapped, she got hurt, he's leaving, she does that, he does that. Are you fine? Of course I'm not! I'm a freaking kid! I can't keep up anymore. Everyone has expectations, but I can't fulfil them. I'm sorry. But it's better to keep it for yourself, I don't want anyone to baby me because I'm hurt. I have to handle it on my own. It wasn't my intention to break down in front of dad. I was doing everything not to cry. But honestly, at the moment I feel like I could break down any time. I couldn't stop it, I, just can't. The bucket is flooding. My mind is flooding. I'm tired. I'm hurt. I'm scared. Erase the memories. Erase the thoughts. Erase it all. Erase the memories. Erase the thoughts. Erase it all.

Charles Leclerc

I went to grab my water bottle out of my room. I opened the door, and again, Flora was in my room. I was silent, took my water bottle and went out of the room.

The seven (idiots)

Me: Just to say, Flora is in my room, if you're looking for her.

Max: Why?

Me: I don't know, she's listening to music I think.

Lando: Alright, let her be for a bit.