baby shower

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-Taylors Pov-

It's not often someone else throws a party for me. more often than not I'm the one putting it all together. but my friends insisted that I had to have a baby shower and that they would do it all for me. all I needed to do was get out of the house for a few hours, which was spent at a spa, and arrive back home for everything to be ready.

It was nice getting a complete pregnancy rub down by the people at the spa. I didn't know I was that tense, but sure enough, they hit one spot after another which had me wiped out.

No one has even told me who is coming, I have had no hand in any of the planning. It's nice actually, to get to show up. While at the same time, my controlling tendencies are itching to have a hand in play with them.

They even gave me a dress to wear, a dusty white dress that goes down to my knees and shows off my bump in all its glory. Being 24 weeks pregnant with twins it's prominent now. It sticks out and my insecurities have gone out the window with how much I love the little munchkins growing safely in there. According to the doctor's appointment yesterday they are perfectly happy and content, and my blood pressure and other symptoms of preeclampsia are all managed for now. They are keeping a close eye on me, but for now things seem to be going well.

There is a balloon archway over my doorway when I arrive back at the house, a mix of blue and pink balloons to be specific. And there are plenty of cars in the driveway.

The second I walk in the cheering starts, and I'm overwhelmed by how many people showed up for this. Everyone from my childhood friend Abigail, all the women in both mine and Travis's family, my friends from the industry, and the other WAGs on the team that I'm getting to know more and more. Everyone came out for this, and I couldn't be happier to see everyone. It's overwhelming and exciting at the same time.

One by one people congratulate me while I make the rounds in the room, everyone is so excited to meet my little munchkins and It makes me so happy. The room is decorated in soft blue and pink hues, perfect for a dual-gender twin pregnancy. I didn't know if I even wanted a baby shower, but now I'm glad they didn't back down.

"you guys, this is perfect. Thank you" I hug Blake, Brittany, and Selena who were the ones putting it all together. Blake and Selena have been coordinating with Brittany here in Kansas City to get everything ready. The three of them have really pulled together something I didn't even know I wanted. It would be hard for them to do it all remotely without anyone here to coordinate with, but the three of them made it work and I love it.

"Anything for you baby mama," Selena says, and I can't help but burst into laughter especially when they tell me what the boys are up to today. They figured it was only fair to throw Travis a shower as well, as in terrifying him with their baby stories and not preparing him for becoming a father at all. Poor Travis is going to get all the horror stories while I get pampered. Does it seem fair? No. but do I care? Sadly no.

We settle around our dining table that's folded out to fit everyone. It has those small sandwiches that I love on those layered cake trays. As well as a table on the side with all the treats you could imagine. Sweet and savory at the same time, perfect. I'm so hungry after the trip to the spa, I can't seem to get enough food recently. It's a real problem really because I get up in the middle of the night for snacks all the time.

I've taken to just taking a snack with me up to bed when I go to sleep, so I don't need to go downstairs to get it during the night. Usually, it's some sort of cookie, of course, mint chocolate chip. It tastes even better if you eat it with strawberry milk on the side, but I can't exactly have that on my nightstand and then have it go bad during the night. No one wants to drink sour strawberry milk, or room temperature either.

My friends get bonus points for the little glasses of strawberry milk with straws they have set out, and I quickly suck one of those suckers down. It's an explosion of goodness in my mouth. They did good and got the artificial stuff too, not the homemade real shit that doesn't have the chemical aftertaste. You need the aftertaste for it to be good.

"Are you excited?" Abigail, who sits right across from me, asks. "yes, very. I'm just anxious for them to get here. but also don't want them to get here too soon you know? Preemies are no joke. I would rather go as close to term as possible" I know they want to induce me around week 37 because of the preeclampsia, so I just hope that I can go that long.

The last thing I want is preemies, they can have serious complications that you don't want for your kids. Of course, if it happens, I just need to deal with it, but I hope that we escape that fate. Some of the complications they can get are lifelong, like brain damage because of brain bleeds for instance. It's terrifying to think about having your kids in those incubators, separated from their parents' safe arms by plastic and tubing.

"you have always been good with kids. I'm sure it's going to be a breeze for you" my aunt says but I'm not too sure about that. One thing is borrowing or babysitting a friend's kids, it's a whole new ballgame to have your own full-time kids. You can't exactly give them back to someone else when you're tired, not to mention I have two of them. It's going to be a challenge and I don't know how I'm going to get through it.

when you get one to stop crying you bet your ass the other kid starts. And when you're done feeding one then the other is ready for the boob again. If they even take to the boob, they might want the bottle and not my boob. Who knows with kids, they are a mystery. Maybe they think something is wrong with my boob, it might not be the right shape for them to suck on? Who knows. Or is that even a thing? It might not be, actually probably not. But something could be wrong, and they only want the bottle. My brother didn't want the boob when he was a baby, completely bottle fed and he turned out seemingly normal. Yeah, am I anxious about the babies getting here? You bet your ass I am. I'm terrified.

"the stinker with having two is that you need double of so many things. It's hard to know where to fit everything. You're lucky you have a big house but then you'll just be running around trying to find things" another aunt says, an aunt with twins herself. She has twins around my age who are also here. I have a big extended family that I don't get to see too often, but when I do I cherish the time. my job takes me away from home so much, and besides most of them live in Pennsylvania anyway, not in Nashville like my mom. Since we moved when I was 14, we also moved away from family who all lived where I grew up. Over time some have spread across the country, but for the most part, they live where I was born. Times like this are really when I get to see them, when something significant happens in our family, or when I'm nearby because of my job. I never really take the time to go back there, and sometimes I feel bad about that. it just turned out that way after my grandma passed away.

"I did get you a double bottle warmer. Those things are a lifesaver when you need to feed two kiddos at the same time" Brittany says, and I thank her. I didn't even know that was a thing. I feel so unprepared after actually thinking earlier today that I was on the right track. It's just freaking me out of what everyone is saying and how I feel like I don't have everything in order after all. I thought we had everything under control, but clearly, some things haven't been thought through.

We settle by the fireplace to open gifts, and I'm impressed with the things they have thought of that I haven't. we have already made a stash of baby things in a guest bedroom, but some things have been overlooked. Like the bottle warmer from Brittany or those guards for over their car seats to protect them from the weather but also from the cameras from Blake.

Everyone tells stories about the time they had their babies and what helped them, and I'm taking mental note of everything I can. Soaking up every inch of advice is going to be valuable, I'm sure of it. and I know I have plenty of people to call if I ever need guidance with anything. I might not feel completely prepared to have a baby, let alone two, but I think I'm on the way to getting there.

"one of the most important things is taking time for yourself, and time to nurture your relationship. Parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint, and it's easier when you take the time to truly take care of yourself as well" are the wise words my mom leaves me with, and I think I'm going to take that advice to heart. 

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