hits different - Taylor Swift and Travis kelce

discharged

-Taylors Pov-

My mom is on her way home, we just put her in a car on the way to the airport. Since I can move about freely now, we figured that the two of us were enough to handle the newborns. And that too many people would be overwhelming. I appreciate my mom's help, but I also feel like this is something Travis and I need to figure out on our own. We need to figure out what we can do for our babies and how we can grow as parents even though the babies are being taken care of by nurses and doctors.

"here are your discharge papers Taylor" One of the nurses comes in with a clipboard with papers on it. I'm being discharged after a week of being a patient and it feels so damn good to be let out of here. we aren't going far though; we are one of the lucky families that get a parent room up in the NICU.

There are a few rooms in the NICU, about three, reserved for parents. And then there is the Ronald McDonald House which is also available for parents to stay in the hospital with their sick kids. Because of our situation, so we don't have to come in and out of the hospital all the time we got one of the rooms next to the NICU and I feel really blessed. It means we don't need to go back and forth from home like so many parents sadly have to do. some travel far just to see their babies for a few hours during the evening because they have to work. All credit to those parents, they are real heroes.

I sign the documents and enjoy the feeling of being free to leave if I want. Not that I'm going anywhere anytime soon. "come on beautiful, let's head upstairs and see the little munchkins" Travis says and grabs my bag while I grab the milk I just pumped.

We head upstairs and put our stuff in our room, which is a plain hospital-like room just without all the regular bells and whistles that are in one of those rooms. It has a bed and a couch, which is a place to sleep for both of us. we don't need more than that, it's perfectly okay. The most important thing is that we can be here together.

Travis has been excused from practice for the time being because he is here with us, but next week he is going back and doing the workouts before coming back here afterward. It's important that he doesn't get out of shape before the season starts in August/September. it's going to be an adjustment to be here alone for a few hours during the day, but we both know it's important. And we don't both need to be present all the time. it's important to get time to ourselves as well. This NICU life is a marathon, not a sprint, so we can't treat it like one. It's a long road ahead of us and we can't tire us selves out already after just one week.

When we enter the hospital room the doctor is there doing a checkup on the twins. "ah, Taylor, Travis. It's good to see you. good morning" he says, and we greet him back. The staff here has been so kind to us so far, I appreciate it a lot. It makes all the difference that the staff is welcoming and doesn't make us feel like we are in their way.

"I wanted to talk to you too. Maddison seems to be recovering well from her surgery. I don't hear a murmur in her heart anymore which is a good sign. Sadly both kids have developed a pretty common condition called RDS., or respiratory distress syndrome" he goes on to explain that babies born before week 34 often develop this because they don't have enough surfactant which is what keeps the small air sacs in the lungs from collapsing. "that's why we are starting them both on surfactant treatment to their ventilators to help them breath more easily."

Okay, that sounds scary. Anything regarding them having trouble breathing freaks me the fuck out. it can turn really serious quickly. One of the most essential things to being alive is breathing. So having problems with that terrifies me more than I can explain. You don't mess with that shit; you need to breathe to stay alive. Or at least accept help with breathing like the kiddos are doing with the respirators at the moment.

"on the positive end, you're able to do kangaroo care with Maddison as well now. Her wound is healing like it should and it's important for her development" she says and my eyes light up. Finally, I get to hold my little girl as well, I've been waiting for this since I got to hold Avery for the first time a few days ago. It's three days since her surgery so I didn't expect to be able to hold her anytime soon. But apparently, it's so important that they do it as soon as they can after surgery.

"Can I do it now?" I ask excitedly and he smiles with a nod "I'll get a few nurses for you. And maybe you Travis want to hold Avery again?" he asks, and Travis happily agrees as well. They have given us a second recliner so we can have both kids out at the same time safely. You can't exactly do kangaroo care safely in the other chair that's in here.

Nurses come in and before we know it both kids are safely tucked against our naked chests. Feeling my little girl's weight against mine is just as magical as the first time I held her brother. "my little Maddie, I love you to the moon and to Saturn" I say and take in her sweet new baby scent that's mixed with the scent of hospital.

"Sometimes I just can't believe these are our kids, Taylor," Travis says as he is holding Avery and I know exactly what he means. It feels surreal that we have these two beautiful babies all to ourselves. Before we know it, when it's safe, they are going to come home with us, and we are going to see them grow up into functioning humans in society. It's our job to teach them how to function along with everyone else and I'm so excited for every part of it.

I'm also excited to show them the world and take them on the ride of the things both me and Travis love. They will get to travel the world already this fall when I go back on tour. And they will get to see Travis do his thing on the field as well. Not that they will remember those early days but that doesn't make it any less special. I'm going to be one of those moms who takes a million pictures and makes picture books for them to look back on.

"I know I can't believe it either" I whisper and let myself truly feel the warmth from maddie. My body is warming her up, keeping her safe from the temparture of the rest of the room, just like the incubator does for her as well. I prefer having her against me tho, than the incubator. I could sit like this all day if I could. But since I just pumped I have about two hours of cuddle time before it's time to remove her so I can pump again.

The pump was painfull in the beginning, but now I have the hang of it and it works perfectly fine. I have one of those discreet ones that I can just stick in my nursing bra and press start. I know the ones at the hospital I probably better, but this works just fine for me.

It seems like things are going better for us now, things seem to be going in the right direction despite some hickups here and there. Now the kiddos need to work through their resperatory stuff so we can take a step further towards getting them home. I don't want to hope for too much, but I hope they are out of the woods now.