hits different - Taylor Swift and Travis kelce

boobs

-travis pov-

"There is good news and bad news," the surgeon says as he reaches us, and I hold my breath. Is she okay? Did something happen? Did I lose her? Fuck I can't take a breath.

"We finished the mastectomy, but she became unstable, and we had to forgo the reconstruction for now. She was too unstable to take the chance to continue with that part of the surgery" he says, and I feel sick. Complications, fucking complications. Becoming unstable could mean a million things, but none of them are good and I don't think I want to know exactly what happened. I just need to know that she is okay, that she will be okay.

"they are taking her up to recovery as we speak. She will need to stay in the hospital for the next couple of days to make sure that things are healing properly but we had clean margins, and the mastectomy is considered successful" he continues, and I can finally breathe. So she is alive, she is okay considering the circumstances.

"Can I see her?" my voice is raspy with emotion. I need to lay eyes on her and see for myself that she is okay. It won't feel real, I won't calm down before I can see it for myself.

"of course. I'll have a nurse bring you to her room. In the ICU she can only have one visitor, but the others are free to visit when she gets situated in a room later on" he finishes up and motions for a nurse to come over.

"go see your wife. We will be here" Andrea says as I turn to her, feeling bad that she can't see her daughter yet. Selfishly I won't let anyone else see her before me, I need to see her, hold her, touch her. "thank you."

The nurse leads me down the hall and up some stairs before we reach the ICU where she was taken right after surgery. A mastectomy is a major surgery, so they want to make sure that there are plenty of people around afterward, just in case something happens.

We reach a room and I immediately see Taylor lying on the bed, motionless with the covers tucked under her limp arms all the way up her chest. There aren't bumps in the covers that would have been there if she had breasts, it's flat. I don't care if she has boobs or not, it's not on the list of my priorities of the things I love about her, but I know she really wanted the reconstruction right away. I don't know how she is going to react to waking up to her breasts being gone and no fake ones taking their place. Going to sleep being set on one thing and not having it happen can't be easy when it's out of your control like this.

"you can sit by her bedside. She will be waking any moment" the nurse says before heading to her station.

Machines are beeping with Taylor's vitals, showing her steady heartbeat. IV pumps beep too as they infuse whatever it is into her body. The room has the strong smell of antiseptic like it's had a good rubdown recently. Everything is sterile and bare, but that's how it is in the hospital.

I take a seat next to her bed, carefully taking her hand in mine but making sure not to touch her IV. I see there are these things on both sides of her body with fluid in them. Drains? That's what it's called right? On the Pre-op appointment, they mentioned she would have drains for the first two weeks for a reason I don't remember. It's hard to remember everything I've been told, there is so much going on that it's impossible to remember everything.

Her hand twitches and she groans and mumbles something I can't make out. "Taylor, beautiful? Can you hear me?" I say softly, not wanting to startle her awake.

"ouch," she gets out as she opens her beautiful blue eyes. Her face twists in discomfort "I'll get the nurse; you need pain meds" I tell her and quickly catch the attention of the nurse who comes rushing in.

"Mrs. Kelce, it's good to see you awake. I'll get you some more morphine" she says, checking her vitals quickly before rushing out again to get the medication. It doesn't take her long before she is back and injecting the medication into her IV. "you should feel better quickly, it's fast working" she says.

"the doctor will be in shortly to go over the surgery with you. hang in there and let me know if you need anything" the nurse says with a smile before heading out again.

-Taylors pov-

My body feels like it took a real beating, everything hurts. I guess it's not that far from the truth, I have been cut and stitched back together after all. My body feels off like someone has really put it through the ringer. I obviously knew surgery wouldn't be easy on my body, but it's another thing to live it.

"How are you feeling beautiful?" Travis asks and kisses my forehead. "like I went to a fight club and got someone to beat the crap out of me" I try to joke but laughing makes my body hurt worse. It's going to be like this for a while I assume, recovery takes time.

I take a look down my body, scared of what might meet me. but furrow my eyebrows when my chest is flat, not the fake boobs I was expecting. "Travis, where are my boobs?" I say and look up at my handsome husband who looks hesitantly between me and where my boobs should be.

"let's wait for the doctor, he will explain everything," Travis says and strokes my cheek tenderly, but I'm just confused. There should be boobs there, silicone under stretched skin, not the flat chest of a boy that's greeting me. something went wrong and I demand to know what it is right this second. No one is going to fool me into thinking that this is what a boob job looks like, no, fuck that.

"no, tell me. please" I beg him and try to sit up to get a better look but end up wincing. It's going to be hard to move for a while, every movement sends a stinging sensation all over the place and there is a burning feeling in my muscles.

Travis is saved by the bell as the doctor walks in just as he is about to say something. "ah, Mrs. Kelce, you're awake. How are you feeling?" my surgeon asks.

"I'm in pain for one, and there aren't boobs where there are supposed to be a pair" I point out waiting for a damn good explanation as to why my new set of firm silicone isn't where they were promised.

"The mastectomy part of the surgery went as one would expect and we got all the tissue. But then you became unstable, your vitals dropped, and we had to forgo the reconstruction part of the surgery because you were too unstable to proceed" he explains, and I curse my fucked-up cancer body for being so bothersome that I can't even get through the whole surgery.

"so no boobs?" I ask for clarification, and he nods "No reconstructed breasts. You can have the surgery at a later time after you're done with chemotherapy."

He goes on and checks the drain site on both sides of my body and I get a better glimpse of my bandaged chest that was hiding under the covers. It's not a pretty look, it's weird to see myself without those two lumps of fat and tissue stuck on my chest. I was so set on seeing the reconstructed result that it's a shock to see something else. I just wanted to have as normal of a body after surgery as possible, to not see the result of my cancer in the mirror every day, but here I am with a flat chest.

I know they are "just" boobs but when so many things are out of my control right now I just wanted this one thing. I wanted to look normal, or what I deem as normal at least. Many women rock the look they have after a mastectomy, but there is nothing wrong with wanting the reconstruction either, everyone is different.

The surgeon goes through his whole checkup before he leaves us again and I take a deep breath before turning to Travis. "I don't have boobs Travis," I say.

"you don't, but that's okay. If you still want them later you can get a pair, but if you decide you don't want them that's okay too" he says and strokes my cheek leaving tingles on my skin from his gentle touch.

"Will you still find me attractive without boobs? They are going to be gone for a while" I mumble, and he chuckles "Yes, I will. Your boobs were only a tiny part of the things I find attractive about you. you never have to worry about that. if you didn't already know I'm kinda obsessed with you beautiful"

"try focusing on this Taylor. the surgery was the first step on the road, and now we can move forward towards the next step. One step at a time and then you will be at the end eventually. Boobs or no boobs along the way, both are fine." he says.

I don't think I've talked this much about boobs ever, or even said the word this much my whole life. it's not exactly my typical topic of conversation.

"I'm tired," I say, and Jawn. I've been asleep on the OR table for hours but I'm still dead tired. It's like I ran a marathon and then got beat up, that's what it feels like. It's going to take a lot of rest to get back to my normal self, and a lot of patience. For now, I'm going to rest.