Chapter 37

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Dean's p.o.v

Cas pushed at Dean's shoulder to this. "Don't call me that!" He said as he struggled against Dean, his emotions finally coming to the surface.

Dean held onto him tighter, "I mean it, Cas. You didn't deserve any of this. Talk to me. I'm here."

Cas fought against him again until he pulled enough away that he was staring up into Dean's face, tears still leaking from his eyes, his face red and his brows pinched together. "And you shouldn't be here! You should be tucked away still in your nice little house, taking care of your garden, and reading. You shouldn't even know my name! I should have just killed your father instead of ever asking about you, then you would have been free to do what you wanted." He pushed at Dean's chest more, putting an arms length distance between them, "In fact, you're free now. Just go. Do what you want, live how you want. I'll kill all of those fucking bastards myself, I'll mail you Eldon's head and we can be done with all of this! With each other." Cas breathed out the last line, shutting his eyes, his wet lashes heavy on his cheeks.

Dean sat there for a moment, allowing Cas to calm down. When the man opened those blue eyes again and saw Dean just staring at him, he sunk in on himself a little. "Why won't you leave?" Cas whispered out.

Dean sat his hands on Cas' knees, careful of all his bruising, "Because -" he started and paused. "Because for reasons unknown to me, I like you. And I'm not leaving you."

Cas snapped his eyes to Dean at this, "You don't mean that. You're just saying that because I'm so broken right now, and you're trying to save me, pull me back from the edge."

Dean took in a breath. "I do want to pull you back, yes. But I also mean it. I like you, Cas. And I'm here. Just tell me what happened. Tell me how to help you."

Cas swiped at his face, clearing the tears away, but they kept coming. He quickly ran through the meeting and everything that happened, being sparse on the details that happened in the bedroom. Dean just listening and nodding to him. "I just, I just wanted to get back here to you." Cas said as he finally fell into Dean, allowing Dean to hold him.

Dean tightened his arms back up on him, "Then stop trying to get rid of me. I'm here. I just want to help you. " Dean said into his hair that was drying up from the shower.

Cas tightened his grip on Dean, "I just. I feel his hands on me still. I can still feel him biting me and choking me. I can feel him inside of me still." His voice caught to this. "I don't want to feel him anymore. Please, please make it go away. Touch me. Be with me."

Dean stiffened slightly to this, "You're hurt, Cas. We can't right now."

Cas clenched his hands into fists, balling Dean's shirt up with them. "Please. Don't make me beg, Dean. I will. But don't make me." He turned his face up to Dean with pleading eyes.

Dean couldn't take the look he was giving him, how broken his voice was, how vulnerable he was right now. He didn't think anymore on what a bad idea this was as he crashed his lips in Cas'. Cas kissed back and wrapped his legs around Dean. Their tongues fighting each other between them. Dean pulled back, bringing his weak hand to Cas' hair, the other to his back as he held him close to him, as he ran gentle lips down his neck and shoulders. Cas sniffled a little but gave little breathes of pleasure, too. He reached for the nightstand, grabbing the lube he knew was there and pouring it on his fingers, returning his mouth back to Cas as he kissed him. He pulled his underwear down over him and slowly brought one finger to his entrance, but as soon as he applied any pressure to it, Cas was hissing into his mouth, Dean pulling away.

Cas grabbed at his neck, keeping Dean from moving too far from him, "Please. I don't care that it hurts."

Dean bit his own lip in worry. "I do care." He repositioned Cas in his lap when he started to argue, pulling at his boxers he still had on revealing he was at least half hard. He pulled Cas' length out and stared down at them next to each other like this. Dean brought his hand down to them, gripping them both as he started to move his hand up and down them, Cas watching with a shaky breath at the sight.

He brought his other hand to them, running soft fingers over the heads of them as he felt himself getting harder, growing well past Cas' length smiling down at their size difference as he leaned forward kissing Cas, his breath quick in his mouth as their tongues slid over each other's. Cas broke away from the kiss, looking into Dean's eyes before looking down to his hand working them both over.

"I've got you." Dean breathed out between them. "It's you and me. I've got you."

Cas breathed out a small moan to Dean's words, pushing his hips into Dean's hands as they so skillfully worked over them. It wasn't long until Cas felt his stomach tighten up painfully and he released, barely anything coming out of him from how much he was made to cum earlier.

"Look at me." Dean said, Cas bringing his eyes to him. "Watch me. It's me." Cas looked down to their laps as Dean started to get out of breath, Cas watching his hand move up and down himself quickly until he came too, Dean angling his hand to gather everything he spilled on the edge of his fingers.

Dean brought Cas back to his mouth, forcing him to sit up a little as Dean carefully brought his cum slicked fingers to his ass and as gently as he could pressed the liquid inside of him. Cas gave out a sigh at the intrusion but liked the feeling of Dean's cum in him.

Dean brought his hand back before bringing it back between them, gathering what little bit came out of Cas and bringing it to his mouth licking it away, Cas watching him with big eyes the whole time. "I'm inside of you. And you're inside of me. He won't hurt you like that again. And I'm not leaving." Dean said everything as if it were just a simple fact, looking up at Cas as he did.

Cas bringing his arms around him again and squeezing him tight. Dean repositioned them, laying down until Cas was sprawled out on top of him and pulling the covers up on them. Cas laid there on his chest, his fingers finding Dean's collar and rubbing at it, the familiar presence of it soothing. Dean rubbed at Cas' back until his breathing evened, and he fell asleep.

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