Chapter 39

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Dean's p.o.v

He'd been gone from Cas for three days. Sam was overjoyed when he was dropped off at the safe house with a dozen guards in tow. Sam peppered him with questions on if Cas had finally set him free, him not listening when Dean insisted that it wasn't like that.

The physical therapist had been sent to the house too, suspiciously pushing Dean harder in his recovery. No doubt Cas was anxious to get their plans moving. He was frustrated that the man hadn't reached out to him once while he was here. Especially once he realized Dean was serious about staying for a week rather than the one night Cas had suggested. Dean texted him every day, his messages being read but not responded to. Benny called him with updates to the Styne family as they came in.

Dean was in the living room ending a call with Benny after he asked him a dozen questions in relation to Monroe's death, Sam walking in halfway through and sitting, watching him. Once he hung up, he checked his texts, hoping the monitoring app on his phone was driving Cas crazy with how much he was checking for a response from him.

"So what's going on, Dean? What's with all this interest in the Styne's?" Sam said, blowing out a breath, frustrated with not understanding anything.

Dean just looked him over, "You sure you want to know? You never were interested in this stuff before."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Because dad forced it on me. Once you took over, I would have gotten more involved. Is that ever going to happen now, since you're Novak's little toy?"

Dean clenched his teeth together, "After I tell you everything, Sam, if you don't change your attitude, you need to at least leave everything alone."

Sam gave him a nod as he leaned back into the couch, "Then help me understand Dean."

Dean tapped at his fingers, he's not felt the need to do that in a few days since their father died. Being around Cas lately calmed him more than any finger tapping could. "Two years ago, something did happen. I was taken. Tortured and raped. By the Styne's." He said simply, no point in leaving any part out, but not willing to go into any details. Sam's face paled to his admittance. "They kept me for weeks just beating the shit out of me. Eldon was the one who would rape me. I got away, which was no easy fucking thing to do. And showed up on dad's doorstep half dead. He packed me away for all those years. I didn't crack Sammy, didn't lose anything, he was just embarrassed."

Sam fidgeted on the couch as if he were uncomfortable, but Dean kept talking. "And he was even more embarrassed when I tried to kill myself. But I didn't do it cause I was crazy, I did it cause I was left alone, tossed aside when I needed some help."

Sam ran his hand through his hair, "Dean-" he started, but Dean held his hand up, stopping him.

"Just let me get it all out, Sammy. Dad took restitution from them for what they did to me. And I'm sure you know enough about his business dealings to know he worked with them, made them strong allies even knowing what happened to me. And yeah, Cas bought me. He used me as a pawn to take dad down. But his target was never solely dad. It was the Styne's, because he has a shit history with them too. And yeah, he did some messed up things. And we started off in this really weird predicament, but he's helped me, Sammy. He's the first person to help me with all this shit in my head since I was taken. And I-I want to be with him."

Sam opened his mouth again, and again, Dean interrupted him, "But he sent me away. Jacob Styne hurt him again, and fucked with his head. And he thinks I'm not with him because I actually want to be. So he sent me here to figure myself out. I volunteered up a week because I wanted to prove to him that I do want to be with him. For no other reason than just the fact that I like him." They sat there with silence between them, "And that's the foot notes version of everything. Oh, and we're going to kill every last Styne. Forgot that part." Dean resumed tapping his fingers on his good hand, his weaker one moving too, just not as quickly.

Sam reached a hand out, stilling his movement. "Dean. I wish I had known about your ordeal before."

Dean huffed a laugh to this, "You and dad are more similar than you'd like to admit." He breathed out, Sam looking like he struck him with the comment. "Dad referred to it as 'the incident', now you're calling it 'my ordeal'. Call it what it is, I was tortured and raped."

Sam bit at his lip, "I wish I knew sooner. I had no idea. And the times I saw you, I didn't know you were struggling so much. You seemed okay at the villa."

Dean shrugged, "I didn't wanna drag you down into my shit Sammy."

Sam sat there thinking everything through before shaking his head. "I still don't like him, Dean. He's treated you like a possession. You even admitted he did some messed up stuff to you. This is the first person you've really talked to in years. He's probably right, Dean. You don't actually like him. You've just trauma bonded or something to him."

Dean just gave his brother a glare, "Think what you want, Sammy. But I'm not justifying my life to you. I don't owe anyone anything, and for once, I'm going to live for myself. If through whatever luck there is in the world that Cas and I both make it out of this whole thing alive, that we take down these monsters and come out the other side, okay? I'm going back home with him."

Sam blinked to this, his brows coming together as he sat back and looked away from Dean in thought. When he looked back to Dean still with his face pinched up, he just said, "Okay."

"What was that look about?" Dean said, watching his little brother.

"I was thinking back to our childhood. To anytime we went away on vacation. Or moved around properties. You'd always used to say you couldn't wait to get back to the house." Sam said, still giving Dean an odd look.

"So?" Dean asked, confused.

"So I've never once heard you call any place home. Not since mom died." Sam said, his eyes finally drooping in sadness. "So I won't belittle what you think you have with Novak. I don't like it. I don't like him. I don't trust him. But I'll at least shut up and watch what happens."

Dean gave a small smile as he leaned to Sam, bumping his shoulder with his. "I appreciate that, at least."

"But if he hurts you, Dean, more than he already has, I'll do whatever I can to hurt him back." Sam said seriously, looking to Dean's phone that he'd been obsessively checking for a return reply from Cas.

Dean just nodded, "That's all I can ask. For now." Dean said, giving him a little smile.

"And whatever you two are planning with the Styne's, I want in. No way does someone hurt my brother like that and get away with it." He said as he stood handing Dean a stress ball.

Dean wouldn't argue with Sam on being involved, although he'd rather him not. He'd worry too much about his safety, but he couldn't deny Sam this either. "What?" He asked, looking at the ball he was holding out to him.

"You need to work on that hand more than just a few hours a day when the therapist is here. If it's not a hundred percent by the time Novak decides to make a move, you're not going." Sam said in a serious tone as Dean took the ball.

Truth be told he was starting to worry if his hand would ever be fully normal, he knew it had only been a few weeks since the surgery, about a month, but he'd not made as much progress as he'd hoped for. "What about eighty percent?" Dean said, taking the ball and giving it a shaky squeeze in his hand.

Sam looked him over, how his whole hand shook as his grip tightened, "Ninety percent." He counter offered.

Dean gave a small laugh but nodded, "Deal."

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