Permanent Rebellion

Shared Trauma

POV: Ace

My head was pounding something fierce. I stirred from my position and opened my eyes a bit. Am I back home? Wait...what the hell happened? Last thing I remembered was Lilith getting in my face in the courtroom then...smoke and a burst of pain. I sat up with a groan, my body stiff and sore. I was in the galaxy room. I looked around and sighed holding my chest with my hand. My eyes shot open as a flood of memories rushed back.

My powers were getting more and more harder to control. The first time I became that...thing...I took out a whole section of Pentagram City. This thing inside of me...that I become...it scared me a lot. It hasn't happened in a while but I wanted to tear that bitches face off so bad. All night before the trail, I was leaking smoke from my mouth and eyes, I freaked out and locked myself in the bathroom. I couldn't control it, my eyes changed and deformed into angry glowing red spheres. I didn't want to scare the others...what if they leave me? What if they attack me? I sobbed in that bathroom, trying to hold it back for hours.

I looked down at my hands as they trembled. Something wet dripping into my palms...I touched my face...tears pouring profusely down my cheeks. I shook my head, everything becoming too much. "Ace...?" Lucifer was standing in the doorway. I turned to him letting out a choked sob. He came over in a swift movement and held me to him softly. "Why didn't you tell me about this?" He murmured. "I-I...was scared you guys would try to kill me...or..or be scared of me" I cried into his chest. "Oh Ace...we would never..." he shushed me, rubbing comforting circles on my back. We sat like that as I broke down.

After some time, I scooted over pulling my knees to my chest, burying my head in my arms, not looking up. "Do you know why you take that form?" Lucifer sat across from me, criss cross applause. "Uh..not really...I mean most powers down here work based on your life up in the 'living'..well I'm an angel...and all my life was the Garden...and Adam...why would it be that?" My voice raw and scratchy. "Well, what about when you were captured? You were held in a cell for months...constantly backed into a corner like a wild animal...they tortured you Ace..." he gestured and I sighed. "I barely remember most of it all..." "All the fear and pain must of manifested into this being...and when you fell it turned into your powers..." he leaned over placing a hand on my knee. "I can't even control it Lucifer...what if I hurt you...or Adam...I literally couldn't handle hurting either of you guys" my voice wavered a bit. "I'm gonna help you...and I'm gonna help Adam with his too." I nodded and sniffled a bit. "Can I be alone?...please?" I whimpered. He nodded and leaned over kissing my temple before he left. I buried my head again and stayed there crying once again.

POV: Adam

I sat on the balcony, lazily strumming my guitar, in my thoughts. That beast...that was Ace?...It was terrifying and dangerous...but it was still Ace. The way he broke down...after turning back stuck with me. I never realized how much pain Ace went through for all our sakes. I had the audacity to accuse him of ditching me for Lucifer...I'm a fucking asshole. Sighing, I kept playing my guitar. Lucifer told me he was tortured for months...he did it for me...refused to give me up and what did I do? Be a righteous dick. Ace held himself well usually, but what we saw earlier was something new and heartbreaking. Deep down I wanted him to off Lilith...but I knew the snowball effect on that one.

Charlie would probably never talk to Ace again...Lucifer would probably regret letting him do it...or blame himself for not reaching her in time. I leaned back in the chair and heard the door open to the balcony. "He awake?" I asked Lucifer going back to my guitar. "Yeah...he broke down again...tried to piece together what that...beast is made from..." he leaned against the balcony railing. "And?" "I think his powers manifested through the shit he went through after getting captured in the Garden with me..." he held his head in his hands. "I should have pressed the angels more...about Ace...instead of wallowing in pity and being bitter..." I mumbled and stopped playing. "Adam, they would have done anything to get you to forget about it, that's why they made Eve, and look where she turned out...no where...I tried finding her but.." he came over sitting across from me.

"It's cool Luci...she probably hates me too...after yall were casted down...I became cold and mean pushing everyone away convincing myself I only needed myself...then Lute came along...and well..." my voice fading and went quiet. Lucifer reached over taking my hand in his. "We'll help Ace...he's given up so much for me...and for you" I nodded and squeezed his hand. "For Ace..." "For Ace..." Lucifer said and took my hand placing a kiss on top of it. I flushed a little but smiled a bit at the gesture.